Proletarian

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Praise Report

A Note of Thankfulness

I am tremendously thankful that my husband's van broke down at work. Strange sounding, I know. However, when the ball joint broke on his van and the tire slumped away at an extreme angle, I was thanking God that it happened in the parking lot of DH's work place. I am sure that you can imagine what would have happened to DH and the van should the wheel have gone all crooked while driving 60 mph down the expressway, on his way to work. I can deal with repair costs. I can deal with the possibility of trashing the van all-together. Just thank you, thank you, thank you God for protecting my husband.

Oy. Darn eyeballs are trying to leak. *blinks*

Posted at 10:16 pm by Jenna
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Divorce & These Adult Children

I value marriage. Admittedly, there have been times in my own married life when I have acted out in rebellion and fear, and have not done what was in the best intrest of my marriage. I think that through those times, I learned a great deal about myself. Those lessons, combined with what I have been witness to through my own parents' divorce, have made me a very strong advocate for God's institution of marriage.

I know that there are many older couples in the world who are pretty much sick of each other. They look at their adult children, and they believe that their jobs are done. There couldn't possibly be more that they can do for those children, and sometimes the thoughts drift toward more selfish lines of 'I deserve my own life after all these years'. Whether children are small and written off as being resilient, or older and dismissed as old enough to just deal- divorce is damaging.

When I was a young girl, I knew children whose parents were divorced. I was sad for them, knowing that they didn't have the kind of home experience that I did. I knew that when I went home at night, we would all sit around our dining table and eat together. I knew that my mom would help me with my spelling words, and that she would call for my dad to come in and help when I got confused with decimals. It was difficult to even wrap my young mind around what it must be like to not have my family together. Granted, things were not always as pleasant as milk and honey in our house. There was a lot of fighting, and a lot of drama. However, as a 10 year old, I would have chosen to have my family together every time. As a 24 year old, I would still make that choice again and again.

As an adult, the divorce of my parents has had some deep impacts on my life. I can't even begin to express how grateful I am that God has given me such a patient husband. There have been so many days when I would be crying, depressed, stressed, and angry. Still, through all of my wild emotions, I had the loving support of my husband to help me through. If it were not for the fact that I was married at the time of my parents' divorce, I may never have married at all. Yes, it shook me that deeply to see so many of the things that I loved, my hopes for later years of my life decimated. I watched as every tradition that our family had, ever happy gathering that we enjoyed, all just wilt away. I have my memories, of course, but memories do little when my own daughter is deprived of having the fullness of her family.

When I watched my mother grieve over my father's infidelity, and her choice to divorce him, it tore at my heart. There is only so much that you can stand to be witness to, watching someone self-destruct before your eyes. As a woman, I could identify with her feelings, could understand every pain and fear that she had. Her pain became my pain, and she wasn't the only one agonizing over the idea that she would grow old and die alone. My mother's experience planted a fear so deep in my heart that I have to constantly rely on the Lord to keep the panic at bay. After all, it isn't rare anymore to hear of 28 years of marriage being thrown away on a whim and a smile from a stranger. For a time, it paralyzed me, the idea that DH and I could make a family and grow together, and that one day it could all be gone. Like I said, had I not already been married, I don't know if I ever would have taken that step.

My father, in his selfishness, never did stop to realize what life would be like for his children. More to the point, I'm not sure that it was really an issue. When I see him with his girlfriend, it honestly makes me feel as though I am going to vomit. When they share intimacies, I have a hard time deciding if I feel sick, or if it is just a deep burning anger that rears it's head. Of course, being an adult, my father never bothered to think that after years of having a family, my heart would always be convicted that only he and my mother belong together. I cannot even begin to express how hard I have had to fight to maintain a respectful view of men, in general. If it weren't for the loving guidance and example of women that I speak to via the internet, I would be hard-pressed not to sound like a jaded liberal feminist. If it weren't for the determination of my husband to be a good man and to dedicate himself to me again and again, I might have given up the idea that men were beautiful creations of God.

Hopefully some good has come from the disaster of my parents' relationship. We will never have holidays together, but it has strengthened my resolve to nurture husband and our child. We have chosen not to cater to people and forego our own familly time and celebrations to be everywhere for everyone. Instead, we've pulled tight in an effort to nurture each other. Hopefully in this way, we will be able to have a strong family, and give our own child what she needs to grow into a secure young lady, and a healthy adult. Things aren't always easy, but it's a learning process. I will always grieve for the family life that I am not able to have with my parents, but I am slowly restricting that to a small portion in the back of my heart. I made the decision early on that I would not let the poor decisions of my parents creep in and pick my marriage apart and have me living in constant fear. Only by the grace of God though. Only by His grace.......

Posted at 06:19 pm by Jenna
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Monday, March 21, 2005

Wanna hear a Funny?

Here, I have a Funny for you. I was pretty floored by it.

Last night, I had put DD to bed, and was waiting for DH to get home from my dad's house. So, with little to do, I took myself off to the kitchen, and I began washing dishes. I was elbow-deep in soapy water when DH walked in the door, all dirty and tired. He was in a good mood though. :o ) Having some uninterrupted time to ourselves, DH sat down at the kitchen table so we could chit-chat while I washed dishes.

While I was trying to wash glasses without getting my hands stuck or anything, DH tried to pick a playful fight with me! *laughs* I couldn't believe him! You wanna know what he said to me? He laughingly complained that I'm too nice and giving, that I don't fight with him enough. He's so strange. You can imagine the look that I gave him, in my astonishment. I just looked at him and said, "You want me to fight with you?! Ok, you're just weird." *laughs* I guess he figures that we need a little bit of somethin'er other to fire things up. lol That silly guy. If he wants excitement, I'm sure that we can find better ways to accomplish it without me acting like a shrew.

*chuckles*

Posted at 03:12 pm by Jenna
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Terri's Death Wish, or Michael's?

LIFE AND DEATH TUG OF WAR
Terri's death wish or Michael's?
Schiavo contradicts himself in Larry King Interview

SOURCE ARTICLE

Michael Schiavo gave contradictory stories about whether disconnecting his estranged wife from feeding tubes was his wish or her wish in a Larry King interview on CNN.

Asked why he has persisted in his decade-long effort to end his wife's life despite the wishes of Terri Schiavo's parents and others who love her, Schiavo said: "Because this is what Terri wanted. This is her wish."

"I won't give it up," he said. "Terri is my life. I'm going to carry out her wishes to the very end. This is what she wanted. It's not about the Schindlers. It's not about me, not about Congress. It's about Terri."

Schiavo has been living with another woman for the last 10 years and is raising two children with her.

Under mysterious and still unexplained circumstances, Terri Schiavo lost consciousness and blood flow to her brain for a period of time some 15 years ago. Her parents suspect foul play.

While she remains conscious, she is unable to speak. The family says she has been denied treatments that could help her regain the ability to eat and speak.

Shortly after saying his determination to end Terri's life was about her wishes, Schiavo changed his story in the King interview. Asked if he understood her family's feelings, he said: "Yes, I do. But this is not about them, it's about Terri. And I've also said that in court. We didn't know what Terri wanted, but this is what we want. ..."

The interview aired Friday.

Edited to Add: Transcript: A Doctor Who Has Examined Terri Talks with Hannity & Colmes

This is a partial transcript from "Hannity & Colmes," Mar. 21, 2005, that has been edited for clarity.

Watch "Hannity & Colmes" weeknights at 9 p.m. ET!

SEAN HANNITY, CO-HOST: As we continue on "Hannity and Colmes," I'm Sean Hannity. Right now, we're broadcasting live outside the hospice where Terri Schiavo (search) is right now. Of course, her feeding tube has not been reinserted as of this point.

Joining us now is Dr. Bill Hammesfahr. And Dr. Hammesfahr, thanks for being with us.

DR. BILL HAMMESFAHR: Thanks for having me.

HANNITY: You were nominated for a Nobel Prize (search) in medicine?

HAMMESFAHR: Yes.

HANNITY: In 1999? For your work...

HAMMESFAHR: ... in patients like Terri. For brain injury and stroke patients. We discovered how you get these people better, and we did it for 10 years with Medicare. We got evaluated by the state of Florida and we first discovered a technique that works in people like Terri.

HANNITY: This is what I want to talk about. You have spent, unlike Robert Wexler, who was commenting on medical issues this weekend, you spent how many hours with Terri?

HAMMESFAHR: I spent about 10 hours with Terri across three separate occasions, and I spent a lot of time with videotapes, the medical record which is in boxes and boxes and boxes. for about a year. And of course, you know, I spending time interviewing the family and people who actually have seen her. So I've spent a lot of time with her.

HANNITY: Do you believe she is aware, conscious and responsive?

HAMMESFAHR: Terri is completely aware and conscious and responsive. She is like a child with cerebral palsy. We have kids in the Pinellas County school system every day that are much worse than her, that we're educating.

HANNITY: Doctor, wait a minute. I've got to get this straight here.

You were nominated to get a Nobel Peace Prize in this very work. Are you saying that this woman could be rehabilitated?

HAMMESFAHR: Absolutely.

HANNITY: Could she talk one day?

HAMMESFAHR: Yes.

HANNITY: Then how is it possible we're in this position if you have examined her, you were up for a Nobel Prize. I -- this is mind boggling to me.

HAMMESFAHR: I don't understand it myself. You know, this is a -- this is a case of a terrible error that's happened and it's a grievous case.

You know, what struck me about Congress, in the last couple of days is that there we have physicians who examined the videotapes, examined the same evidence I had, examined my records, my evaluation of her, stepped forward and said, this is not a person in a coma. This is not a person in PVS (a persistent vegetative state). We have to stop this.

HANNITY: All right.

HAMMESFAHR: It just goes to show, you do not want your medical care delivered by a judge.

HANNITY: Well, this is what I want to understand. This is your area of expertise that got you nominated for one of the most prestigious awards in medicine, the Nobel Prize.

And you're saying after a thorough examination of 10 hours total with her, and an examination of records and an examination of records and an examination of tapes regarding her, that she could be rehabilitated. What about all of these other people that have said that that's not possible, how can we have disparaging?

HANNITY: It's not all of these other people. There's four people on the other side, who say she can't be rehabilitated. All were paid individuals. Three by George Felos...

HANNITY: ...and you're not paid?

HAMMESFAHR: I was not paid. Now, if you look at the people who are on Terri's side and stepped forward, at last count, two weeks ago, 33 M.D.s, brain injury specialists from around the country, places like UCLA, Tulane, LSU, Boston University --Thirty-three physicians has stepped forward to say that this person can be rehabilitated. She's not in PVS, not in a coma. And the -- Judge Greer ignored this.

ALAN COLMES, CO-HOST: Dr. Hammesfahr, it's Alan Colmes in New York. Thank you for being with us.

One of the other doctors who examined her, and by the way, among those doctors there were those who were not paid, who were independent, who were not on either side. --

Dr. Ron Cranford, who'll be on this show tomorrow night. I want to put up what he said:

He said, "She's vegetative. She's flat out vegetative. There's never been a shread of doubt that she's vegetative, and nothing's going to change that."

"This has been a massive propaganda campaign, which has been very successful, because it deludes the public into thinking she's really there."

Explain to me, as a lay person, what I'm supposed to believe, hearing medical authorities saying what you say and saying what Cranford says?

HAMMESFAHR: Well, I think you need to go and look at the videotape of Dr. Cranford. Dr. Cranford's videotape compliments Terri on following commands. At one point he moves a balloon around in front of her and he again compliments that she is able to see it that she can follow commands.

And I also think that you need to look a little closer. Dr. Cranford's work has been attacked by other medical professionals in peer reviewed journals such as "Lancet." So I think that we to look a little bit deeper at Dr. Cranford.

COLMES: Well, he's going to be here tomorrow night. We'll ask him. But Judge Greer also said that you said you've have treated patients worse off than Mrs. Schiavo but have not produced any case histories. Can you tell us of one?

HAMMESFAHR: Oh, that's not true. That's not true.

COLMES: You didn't produce any evidence?

HAMMESFAHR: Well, the specific request was to produce a videotape of a person exactly like Terri Schiavo. No two patients are exactly alike but, in fact, we have videotapes and we're releasing them tomorrow and have released them previously, if you call my office, you'll get informational videotapes of people much worse than Terri who are better, one of them three months into their treatment is talking.

COLMES: All right. We would love to know of a similar case where somebody got cured. Thank you for being with us.

Posted at 02:19 pm by Jenna
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