Reflections on...

Created To Be His Help Meet
by Debi Pearl

Chapter 5

The Gift of Wisdom

-Do you have enough fear of God not to question his Word?-

Maybe there are women who understand more fully why they were created, and they did not struggle as much as I did. I haven't actually met one of these women, but I would like to think that not every Christian woman begins her marriage in ignorance and/or rebellion.

As I've stated many times, I was just not this ideal woman. More to the point, I can choose every day if I am going to react positively to God's heirarchy and design, or if I am going to stomp my feet and bemoan not having a greater position of authority. There have been plenty of times when I have placed myself in the role of victim and complained that my husband didn't deserve my tender care. The truth of it all really snuck up on me one day, and is reaffirmed for me numerous times while reading this book.

This isn't neccessarily all about my husband and myself. The Lord wants me to honor my husband and help him in this life as a means of honoring Christ, himself. Regardless of how loving and attentive my husband is, I still have work to do. I do not get a free pass, just because there are days when life doesn't go the way that I would like it to. It can be hard though, knowing what God would have me do, and then coming up with the strength to carry out what may seem inpossible. Some days, it seems like the job is simply too difficult to accomplish, and on those days it really shows what motivators drive me and what is important in my life. I don't know about anyone else, but at the end of the day, I want to be able to say that love of God fueled my fire and by the grace of the Lord, I was able to do what is right.

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men (and women) liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." James 1:5

How is it possible that a woman can know the truth of God's design concerning women? Of course, the answer is by reading His book. *grins* As Debi points out, there are plenty of "scholars" who are very eager to do away with any idea of submission, or that a woman could ever have a role helper instead of higher authority. I agree wholeheartedly with Debi, in that the bible speaks pretty plainly, and that the message is consistant through the bible. So, then we just have to decide what we are going to do with it. Are we going to heed thet Word of God, or are we going to try and decide what is best for us? Do we trust God? Do we love God enough to turn over the reins of our life and accept that our lives are no longer our own, as born-again children of our Almight God?

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church; and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing". Ephesians 5:22-24

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord" Colossians 3:18

"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." 1 Corinthians 11:3

God gives us the wisdom that we need in learning how to work according to His will, within our marriages. All we have to do is pray and ask for this amazing gift. By reacting to my husband according to the guidance of God's wisdom, there have been great changes in my heart. I have been able to live with more joy in my heart, and it has not only made me much happier, but that happiness has had a profound effect on my husband. Because I made the purposeful effort to stop letting my emotions rule me, and to instead put my trust in the Lord, miracles have been worked within my marriage. If I had continued on as I were, I do not doubt that I would be a divorced mother right now. I thank God for His wisdom that He shares with me as I ask, and for the guidance of more experienced women who have already taken the plunge in placing God first in their marriage.

Chapter 6

The Beginning of Wisdom

-We live under a law of sowing and reaping that is as certain and unrelenting as disease and death-

Ooooo....... even the word "Fear" makes my hair stand on end. Still, I enjoy what Debi has to say about fear being a motivator in this chapter. As she puts it:

"Wisdom is concieved in a strange place. It is fathered by fear."

How many times do you hear that these days? I don't know about anyone else, but I just don't hear talk like that where I am. Ever. If I want to hear a sermon that mentions judgement of God or dealing with consequences for stepping outside of God's will, I had better put my walking shoes on. In our society, so many churches have become hesitant to "offend" people that much guidance from God's Word is being purposefully overlooked. Where I am, feminism runs ramant, so much that I know a brother in Christ who dared make a comment about submission, and then quickly admonished HIMSELF, for fear that our peers (not to mention, his wife) would take him apart. I would definitely say that there is something wrong with this picture. I would submit to people that in this society, while many people are living without a fear of God, but are still living in fear none-the-less. Instead of trembling on our faces before God, we are laying down before our popular society and caving to their expectations instead of the Lord's. Hey, that makes me pretty fearful. If I am going to put anyone in my heart, to have a place of such fear and reverance, it's going to have to be God. Society may shun me and persecute me, but what is the alternative? I fear the judgement of the Lord much more than mankind. To be honest, I don't fear God's wrath so much as I fear His disapproval. In my heart, I really do view God as my Father in Heaven. I never could stand to see the look of disappointment on my earthly father's face when he looked at me. Can you imaging how much more strongly I feel about God? I would much rather have the words "well done, good and faithful servant".

"But our actions and reactions do indead reap painful results in this present life as well as in eternity." Debi Pearl

In this chapter, Debi talks about how important it is to fear the Lord and to make changes in our lives accordingly. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and if I want to have that wisdom, I had better get my heart in order and make God important to me.

One revelation that Debi shares, is that her heart became convicted that she needed to heed God's command in "the aged woman...teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands..." (titus 2:3-4) Trying to teach older women was not having a very pleasing result, and so she realized that she had to reach women when they were still young and more willing to learn. What I took away from this is that I need to make changes in my life NOW, and not put them off for another day, when I may already have hardened my heart toward the Lord in one manner or another. There is not time to waste. I do not want to be an angry old woman, unable to find peace in life because I wanted to make a war, and not a Godly marriage.

Another area of this chapter really struck me, as it probably has many women. It is hard reading about a wife who tries to manipulate her husband because she feels that she is more 'spiritually minded' than he is. Instead of giving herself over to her husband's authority, she fights and says that she will not be subject to a 'carnal man', while not recognizing her own sinfulness in her deathgrip on rebellion. I'll tell you that I don't want to be that woman. Ooo! I run from that woman!! Of course, I run so quickly because a part of me recognizes that same attitude lurking in the recesses of my own heart. It has been a hard row to hoe, destroying that destructive notion that I know better than everyone, especially my husband, and even God. Pride and selfishness are awful, and having that fear of the Lord has gone a long way to stomp on that sinfulness. I've read enough on how God deals with those who are prideful and selfish, those who think that they know so much more than He does. I can't tell you how many times that I've prayed for God to save me from myself, and the evil things that my heart is capable of. Lord save me! lol

No one really likes a mean-spirited crazy woman, and that is what I would sound like if God were not walking me through my marriage and helping me to correct my missteps. So long as I hold tight to Him, there is victory. I have been that "crazy woman" before, and I definitely wouldn't sign up for it again. I think that what we do need to keep in mind though is that there isn't JUST judgement from God when we act like idiots. It is right to have fear of the Lord. Likewise, it is right to turn and ask forgiveness for sins also, so you can begin anew in your marriage. While this particular point wasn't addressed in this chapter, I felt like adding my own note. We know that our God is not only a wrathful God, but also a God of mercy. Just because we may have failed miserably as help meets, it does not mean that what was awful must stay awful. Now is the time to do as Debi suggests, in practicing doing what is good so that it becomes natural to us.

For some wonderful chapter reviews on "Created To Be His Help Meet", please visit My Three Pennies Worth ,Walking Circumspectly, and Roses & Tea2!

As a person who makes war on bipolar disorder on a daily basis, today has been a bit of a trial. More truthfully, the past couple weeks have been more than a little bit of an ordeal. I am very thankful to have a husband who is understanding and looks to love me when I am at my worst.

When I make reference to being loved, I don't mean that he feeds the fire of some sense of affection for me. No, he has the strength to make things happen and to pick me up when I am emotionally fallen. Things that seem so small to other people, can become so big when you have issues with emotional stability. The other day, I found myself sitting on the couch and crying, because I didn't want to wash the dishes or cook. I sniffled at my husband and he kissed the top of my head and nuzzled my hair, knowing that I didn't feel good. After all, simple things like cooking and cleaning are normal for me, and I do actually enjoy them. When I wanted to hide under a pillow and pout, DH made me give him a big 'ole hug. Then, he began cleaning our home. Just having a partner in doing menial chores was great. Things were done so quickly, and even when I stood at the sink with the dishes again, I wasn't feeling quite so bad. All it took was that first five minutes, of my husband showing me that I didn't have to do it alone, that he would help me or even do it all himself, if that would take the pressure off. I cycle at a high rate, so 20 minutes later you would never have guessed that before people started showing up at my house, I was a mushy wreak.

I love my husband. I thank God that he (and HE) loves me too. :o )

Today has been a similar funkiness. I stayed in bed for quite a while this morning, listening to DD's cartoons, and trying to will myself out of bed. I have been oddly tired lately, and fell asleep extra early last night after reading through this past week's text in our family's "Sunday Missal" and chapters 1 &2 of Acts. I decided to stop reading when the words got fuzzy and they weren't making much sense anyway. Odd. Real odd. Anyway, I slept a long time.

The rowing machine that DH bought me for my birthday helped me today. DH had been fooling with it last night, and had left it out when he went to bed. So, it was there when I got up. Instead of putting it away, I decided to go through a moderate/steady workout. Thirty minutes later, I was feeling much better, not only concerning my emotional slump, but that cake that I had too. *laughs* Folks should always take birthday cake leftovers home with them. Leaving it here is bad. Thankfully, I cut the pieces real small.

I am feeling better now, and have been contributing to my moderate lift of spirit with some good praise music. I am one of those people who are really effected by what they hear, and singing out some praises to the Lord really picks me up. Now I am ready start dinner, and to sit down with DD and work on her "school" work a bit.

Speaking of learning, I am just loving the Leap Pad + Writing that my dad got DD for Christmas. I was so loathe to open the box because of the fiasco at the holiday, but now I am grateful to have it. I decided that I wasn't going to make DD do without the gift because I was harboring some complicated feelings about my father. Anywho, we have been working on her alphabet and letters, and the booklet that she has really is helping to keep her interested. I like the fact that she can still trace the shapes of letters and numbers, and do the games, all without the pencil in the attached stylus. I let her use the pad for practice with her coordination, and then we write on paper with a regular pencil. Our fridge is wonderfully decorated with homemade worksheets, and DD has something to show her aunts when they come to visit. She is so proud. I also like the fact that I can bring her pad when we go out to eat, and she can work on her booklet while we wait. We did that this weekend, and it was so much more pleasant of a wait. In that regard, she is very much like her father, in that neither of them like to sit still for very long. I am more geared toward thinking, reading, planning, etc. They, however, prefer to just go and work through things with their hands. It's a good thing that they have me! lol It's a good thing that I have them! *laughs*

Alrighty, I'm off. I think that I'm going to fire up the grill tonight and BBQ some chicken for dinner. For some reason, it is so much more relaxing to cook food over an open fire. Yes, I'm weird, but we already know that. Just overlook the fact that I killed a whole package of hotdogs on saturday because I got distracted while talking with my family. Ooops! lol

Oh, and by the way, I wanted to show you part of a picture that I set up as my desktop image today. Isn't that rattie just so cute?! I love baby rats. Anyway, I thought that it looked like he was praying, so I added the text from 2 Chronicles 6:19-20. I thought it was fitting.


Don't those ears make you think of fievel, from "An American Tail"? *chuckles* I just want to stick a little hat on the poor creature. lol

If it isn't terribly obvious, I am missing Henry today. It always made me feel good when I would rub his little brown head, and he would close his eyes with such obvious pleasure. Who else is going to play tag with me around the trees in the park? The dog isn't allowed, and kids are so much more fun for DD these days......    I miss my Henry!

I'm a sucker for quizzes and games, so since everyone else seems to be taking this thing, I did too. Hey, if I can take a quiz on which "Incredibles" character I am, I think that I can manage one about Christian denominations. I got the link from Molly, if you want to eyeball her stats too. :o )

Christian Traditions Selector

ah, but satisfaction brought him back, at least this time. lol

I have funky skin. I know this, and have always known this. When I was an early teen though, I had thought that I might have an allergy to soaps. No, it isn't that I didn't want to bathe, but rather, after I took a bath my skin would be irritated looking. It made it all the more noticeable, the red dots that I had on various parts of my body. I didn't think too much of it, because I wasn't in to checking myself out with any frequency. The summer was always easier, and it seemed that my legs really started to look nice after I got a decent tan.

Now, come to present day, I am as white as a ghostie. Yes, yes, my family believes that I am quite odd for being so "pale" (as my dad calls me). I'm not honestly sure that pale is the right word, since I do have slightly olive tinted skin, a remnant of my native heritage I guess. Anyway, being that I am so fair skinned these days, it is quite noticeable, the red spots that I have on me. Most people don't notice because I am covered from my neck to ankles, and my sleeves come to my elbows or longer. Some times my leggings will ride up a bit, and my sister commented on my bespeckled appearance. So, I figured that I would finally exercise my research ability and find out what is wrong with my skin.

Keratosis Pilaris.

*nods* Yup, that's me. It figures that I have a weird skin disease. *chuckles* Good thing it is completely harmless. Anyway, after asking a bit, I found that I must have gotten it from my dad. My youngest sister also has it, though our other sister has completely clear skin.

After really examining my skin, I believe that I've come to a mild breakthrough. I've come to realize why I've had such poor luck with the bumps on my forehead. I had always just assumed that my stupid skin really loved whiteheads or something, and that would explain the bumpy nature of my forehead. No one has ever commented on it (or noticed, I believe), but I have. I wear bangs most of the time, so many people are completely oblivious. Well, I found out that quite a few people have this same condition on their face. After looking at some pictures, I definitely feel pretty normal, especially in light of the high percentage of people who have this "problem". Many people basically outgrow their KP, but I don't seem to be one of them, nor do I hold out hope for that. My dad still has his red bumpies on the backs of his arms, and he is in his later 40s. So, I can only assume that I'll probably have bumpies and red spots for the rest of my life. I'm just thankful that the areas of my face that seem to have KP aren't red. My red spots seem limited to the backs of my arms and the entire length of my legs (though interestingly, not on the backs of my thighs). I think that I would be happy if I could even just get my spotties to pretty much go away for the first 6 inches of my calves, so folks couldn't see them above my socks. lol

Since I have more of an idea as to what is going on, I feel froggy when it comes to researching and finding ways to at least relieve the irritation that causes the redness. My little sister is real hopeful that I will find something to ease the bumpiness on the backs of our arms. She wears tank tops, and doesn't like the look of her skin (though it isn't bad. We have mild cases). So, for the sake of good science, I am treating one of my legs and leaving the other alone. That way, I have something to compare failure or success by. Right now, I am trying the most simple treatments, which are regular exfoliating and deep moisturizing (almost constantly). Since the problem is majorly exasperated by chronic dry skin (which we all have), the moisturizers are supposed to go a long way. So, we'll see if things are looking any different after a couple weeks. If not, I may have to resort to a sulfer soap and a better moisturizer, before trying topical creams (like LacHydrin).

Of course, there may be some people that just find me vain, but I don't believe that is the case. While I don't wear makeup, I do try and take care of my appearance a bit. I think it would be quite mean spirited to expect my husband to want to make googly eyes at me if I look like sasquach or something. lol So, I pluck and wax, and all of that good stuff to try and bring out my "natural beauty" ( I think. Still looking....). If I'm going to make an effort to take care of the rest of my body, I definitely don't see any problems with taking care of my body's biggest organ. Besides, is there anything better than having your husband exclaiming over how silky smooth your skin feels? *wiggles eyebrows* Naw, I didn't think so. I'll call it a subtle therapy for my marriage. *chuckles*

On to other things, DH threw me a BBQ today, for my birthday. :o ) Isn't that sweet? Apparently he started planning this before my birthday (last tuesday), which is why he was so adamant that I wasn't going to have a birthday party. He thought it was funny, watching my face as people began arriving. First, sis and her boyfriend were coming over, which I expected. The boyfriend has been helping DH cut down trees. Then my dad pulls up, and I figured that he wanted to shower after working on his boat. Lastly, my little sister pulls up with her husband, and DH called out, saying that they were bringing laundry over to wash. Now, since people always visit me in an effort to use my bathroom or laundry machines, this seemed pretty normal to me.

At one point, everyone was standing in the kitchen, shooting the breeze. DH and the boyfriend had pulled over the last tree, and it had scraped the house a bit. Well, he sat at the table and told me that the tree had damaged our awning, and that it might make the roof leak. I got all flustered and just told him that he could fix it, if it did. I was so busy pouting (I warned him about hitting the house) that I didn't notice when someone slid a birthday cake on the table. DH started talking to me again, and when I turned around I just had to ask "was that there the whole time??" *laughs* So, everyone laughed at me, and the lightbulb in my head went off. I said, "you didn't really hurt the house with the tree, did you?" and DH reassured me that the house wasn't injured at all, that he was just distracting me. lol So, we burned some hotdogs on the grill and the boys drank beer while working on my car. The girls and I sat inside and played with Landon, and talked for a while. Then everyone sang to me, and I failed miserably to blow out my candles, before passing out cake and ice cream. Groovy. :o )

Sis and her boyfriend (hereafter known as "buddy") stayed later, and we made plans to hang out tomorrow. We are all (dad, both sis' and their families, plus us) are going to meet for breakfast in the morning. Then the boys are going to work on buddy's vehicle while sis and I head off to our local "dirt mall" (as sis calls it). Really though, it is just a "trade center" that sells reasonable items and remnant rugs. I used to work there as a teenager. I can't wait to check out the pet shops and see the varieties of creatures that they have there. There is always something interesting to look at, like hedgehogs and baby turtles.

What really has me excited is that the church that we are wanting to visit has an evening service on Sunday, and it is real close to us. DH's uncle goes to a Nazarene church near us, and has invited us over there. He says that DD would have a great time because they have good classes for the young ones, and even a children's sermon, if we wanted her to go. Now, while I am all for children staying with their parents during church, I'm also a mom who recognizes that it can be nearly impossible to be 'fed' at church if you spend the whole time fussing with kiddies. DD hasn't reached the age where she sits well yet, not even with crayons and crackers. It must be an only child syndrome or something, that she starts getting crazy as soon as she sees other kids her age. Anywho, I am so excited by the idea of being able to go to church later in the day (when we're all honestly and fully awake), in a place that is said to be very friendly. I've already read up on the church, and I shared with DH that I didn't find anything so far that would lead me to think that we would be in conflict with their doctrine. We're pretty open folks. The only thing that is much different than what we are used to is the 'rapture' thing. I've read the verses that folks use to substantiate the claim of 'rapture' belief, but I haven't honestly formed an opinion on it (not sure that I even need to). To me, it's pretty much a moot point, being that there is nothing needed or required from us for God to work His power in whatever way he wishes, including bringing people to him without their having died first. Hey, if God can make off with folks like Enoch, I don't doubt that He could do whatever He wishes with everybody else too. I'll leave that up to Him. I don't personally care either way. If God wants me to die, I'm gonna die. If God wants to talk with me and usher me directly into heaven, well, I'm right fine with that too.

Hey, since I have nothing else to do right now (I'm waiting up for DH to get back from a work call), that brings something else to mind. Speaking of rapture, some folks think that I am really weird that I don't bother a whole lot with prophecy, end times stuff, or dig too deep into Revelation. To be honest, much stuff is over my head. Some people will occupy themselves with seeing where our current society fits into God's time table, and I just honestly don't care. It isn't that I lack feeling, but that I think it is irrelevant. lol Only God knows the timing of His works, and I am fine with that. *laughs* I try to live every day as though it were the only one left that I had, and to be quite honest, it might well be. Regardless of all the things that happen in this world, there are only a small number of things that are on my priority list. First, I want to live each day in a way to pour forth my love of God. Second, I want to love those around me in the best way I am able, which includes sharing the gospel. That pretty much sums up everything.