Lord forgive me! I just plowed through half a box of little debbie marshmallow pies! Darned stress eating. Now I get to spend the next hour on my rowing machine, working off the sugar and the hair-pulling stress monster.

My little sister called me just a little bit ago, asking if her family could come and live with us. She and her family have been living with my father, who just happens to be rennovating his house. The upstairs is fine, but downstairs is only partially put back together. Anywho, her ex called CPS and told them that the children are being physically neglected.

So, little sis cries on the phone to me about how they have to have a better place to stay by Monday, or they are taking her children away from her. I'm steamed. I'm not mad at my sister, just mad for her. I'm sure that God is wagging a finger at me, for the violent things running around in my head, and I'm sure sorry for them. I do feel very angry and very violent though. So far, I've done the best that I can do by calling DH and letting him know what is going on, and inviting little sis and her husband over tomorrow. I would have them over tonight, but DH is working real late.

I've tapped these keys for over an hour, trying to find alternate housing arrangements for them, but I can't find anything. So, if DH decides that they can't stay here, I don't know what to do. He isn't heartless, and I know that we will come up with something. We may have problems with little sister's husband though. She was over here the other day, crying because of how sad she is because her husband has become quite physical with her. DH and I both know about this, and it sets up an explosive situation. If DH and I were ever to witness this man beating my sister, I'm not sure that the police could get here in time. My husband is very protective of his family, and that includes my sisters, whom he has adopted as his own. *little smile* He doesn't have siblings close in age to us, so we all bonded in weird ways. lol

So, I'm sure that anyone can understand why we would be hesitant to open our home to this man. I don't know that he is repentant for any of his actions, or if he thinks that he can do this sort of thing because "he is the man". Granted, my sister is far from submissive, but she isn't someone's punching bag either. I wouldn't think twice about standing between them if it kept her safe, and DH would take this man apart if he hurt me. It would just be a mess. So, what can I do? The only thing that I can think of would be to sit down and talk with little sister and her husband, and see where things stand. I guess that I can begin trying to piece together house rules and things like that, so I can provide information to DH. He doesn't like the talking, number calculations and all of that. The diplomatic stuff and number crunching is always my job. I'd hate to have things fall apart because I didn't move fast enough and couldn't get him the information that he needed in time. As it is, things are going to be real tight, to have them a place by Monday.

As I've mentioned before, our house is small. It's not terrible, but definitely not made to house 7 (soon to be 8) people comfortably. DD will have to share her room with Babs, not that they will mind so much, I'm sure. They can just get into more trouble by coloring on the walls. *raises an eyebrow* (Babs is 2) Little sister and her husband will have to sleep downstairs in the basement, because there isn't room upstairs for them. The best that I can do for the little feller is to clean up the computer room enough to put his crib in here. That way, we are no more than two people to a bedroom and he isn't in with the girls. That is the only way that I can think to keep CPS happy about living arrangements. As far as any other requirements they might have, I don't know. I've never dealt with CPS before. We are going to run into some pretty rough problems though if it is expected that I frequently open my home for inspection by these people. Oy.

I had better go find that rowing machine and exercise until I'm tired enough to have a calm moment. It's a good thing that God already knows what I'm thinking, because I'm sure that the "talking" I'm doing to Him would confuse and numb the brain of any mortal. *lol* Thank God He's bigger than me, and bigger than this!

DD likes to show off her "homework" and her art projects. While we have regualar magnets, she likes to use her alphabet magnets to put her work on the fridge. The funny part is that it takes so many of the letters to hold the papers up that the pages end up covered in colorful plastic letters, making it harder to see her handwriting. lol





DD sure does like the kitchen table. What better place is there? No only can you eat at the table, but you can "do school" and play all sorts of funny games while Mom is making dinner.








Do you remember the days when you were so flexible that you could comfortably sit any way your pleased? *nods* Me too. No, it wasn't yesterday, at least not for me. lol

Hey, while you're looking, isn't my tile pretty? *chuckles* I thought that it was so pretty, and then I went over to a friend's house and saw that they had put it in their basement. It makes you think about the decision again. Heeheehee....   Ok, so the tile is pretty, but I think that DD is just gorgeous. Just don't mention her teeth though, or else she'll get flustered. She seems to think that she is missing a tooth because one of her front teeth is crooked from sucking her thumb. lol

DD and I get the day to ourselves today. I'm not exactly sure what we are going to do, but I think that I will search the web for places to go that are within walking distance of our house. I know that I want to walk to the market and pick up a little something to supliment dinner, and just to peek my nose around. We haven't been to this market before, and I'd like to get a feel for it, since I will most likely be where I go for milk and bread. My car has rebelled against me, and is not working for the time being. Or, more to the point, it isn't working well and DH has asked me not to drive it. So, DD and I get more exercise, by walking places.

I've been a disappointment today, though it was no fault of my own. Apparently, my Christianity is inconvenient.

It is so sad, to see people that I love so willing to throw away blessings because of their critical heart and unforgiveness. I was approached today, seemingly as a shoulder to "cry" on, though it really amounted to venting anger.

Knowing that I was going to have my company today, I prayed before she arrived, asking God to give me the right words. I really wanted her to hear God speaking, and not my own foolish woman's heart, which can act so stupidly. I understand her hypersensitivities, holding on to percieved hurts, and making mountains out of mole hills. I've done it before, a lot. I guess that is why she believed that I would support her in tearing apart the man who has been loyal to her and has worked himself so hard to provide for her and their child. I just wouldn't do it, and she became upset.

I am so careful with this young woman, because she is not a believer. It doesn't mean that I side-step the truth though, and since she seemed to be pushing me for a response, I did the best that I could. I wish that there was a way for me to know if my calmness and soft words reached her heart at all, or if she is still going to tear apart the family that they have made together over such trivial things as she ranted about. I tried so much to impress upon her that not long from now, she would look back and realize that this was really such a small issue in the whole scheme of things.

She wanted me to tell her that it was the right thing to do, to leave this man. I reminded her that it would be unfair to deprive her child of his father, but she doesn't have a heart of sacrifice. She believes that having a part-time father is fine, so long as she doesn't have to "be miserable" for the "rest of her life". The more the melodrama continues, I wonder who is doing the real suffering, and who will pay the price for her selfishness. There were no children involved when she decided to divorce her husband, but this relationship is so different. But, she has no understanding of the damage that she will cause her child because she expects her man to bow before her and to never do anything wrong to offend her sensibilities. She will never find a man like that. She says that she would rather be alone, but I don't believe that she understands the gravity of the statement. She may feel that way now, while she is in her 20s, but I wonder how she would feel in her 50s as a tired single mother who has no one to give her the love she will need. Men may want to have a fling with a 20 year old, but I haven't noticed things working quite the same way later in life. It's all emptiness for those who choose to make themselves unloveable to other people, but she won't face it. It is always someone else who is doing wrong and causing hurts. What she won't acknowledge is that she is hurting herself and stealing away a great chance at happiness.

I know how this young woman is, but even my appeals to her motherhood wouldn't touch her hard heart. I guess that she figures they will get on just fine so long as I agree to be her full-time babysitter so she can have the "freedom" of a job, and her own money. It won't feel like freedom when her child hardly knows her, and isn't full of smiles when it is time to go home with her. I can't make her see this, and it is very hard on my own heart. She is being a fool, and I am powerless to stop the path of destruction that she is running down.

That one sentence summarizes our entire relationship these days, the constant struggle between us. We want to be friends, at at the same time she is fighting me, and I am fighting for her. I cannot persuade her to make the better choices, and unless God works a miracle in her heart, she will most likely go to hell. That hurts. Still, I find myself identifying with Jesus when He went to His home, and the people would not listen to Him because they knew Him. Those I love dearly find me so easy to dismiss because they know me, and my testimonies mean nothing to them. No matter how much wisdom the Lord graces me with for a moment, my words will never be heard because they know me. It's really a kind of depressing thought. But, the best that I can do is pray for her. Maybe things will change, in God's own time. For the moment though, she is angry with me and didn't even offer the customary kiss on the cheek as she packed up her stuff and left. She's disappointed that I wouldn't agree with her and support her position, but hopefully if *I* remain steady in my course, she will realize that I mean what I say. I'm not giving her empty words, but a reality that I try to live every day, even when mountains ARE mountains, and not mole hills. Hopefully her anger will be short lived, and she'll talk with me soon. In the meantime, I pray that her man has patience and enough loyalty to their family to stick with things even when she is being a pain.  Oy.