Proletarian

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

New Additions!!

Today, DH took me to our good pet shop, and helped me to pick out new additions to our furry little family!! My mom had sent me a few dollars for my birthday, so I put it to use, filling our empty rodent cage.

I was suprised that our baby rats only cost $2.99 each. So, I had enough money to buy our babies some good food, a new water bottle, and a hamock to sleep in.

Anywho, this is Olivia a.k.a. "Speedy". She earned her nickname very quickly (no pun intended) because she managed to get away from DH and she ran behind our fridge. Yes, she scared the crud out of me, and I was pretty freaked out while DH pulled out the fridge and went back there after her. Thankfully, DH was able to fetch her. I was so worried that she would get stuck somewhere and die. Woo! That'll teach us, for wanting to handle babies too quickly after just coming home from the shop.

Next, we have Samantha. We are calling her "Sammy" for short. It may be hard to tell by the poor picture quality, but she has the prettiest fur. She is the softest butter-cream color and white mix. DH saw her and just thought she was adorable.

Sammy is the more calm of the two rodents, and was the easiest to hold. She spent about an hour, nestled in the pocket of DH's shirt, grooming herself. A real quiet lady, Samantha seems content to just enjoy life at a slow pace, even when Olivia is standing on her head. lol

My intention was to only buy one rat, but DH suggested that we get too, because they are such social creatures. Because I decided that I wanted female rats, it works out well because they are a little smaller than the boys. We have a decent home for them, but I would still want more room to move around if we were to put two boys in there. I hate to see animals cooped up. Maybe that is why I liked to take Henry to the park so much, so he could hop around in the grass and play tag with me.

After Henry, the girls seem so very tiny to me. They are very young, and very small. After hefting that big guy around so much, I'm slightly afraid to hold on to them. DH jokes that they are the size of gerbils. And to think that he tried to talk me into getting mice while we were at the shop. Goodness! lol I told him that I would worry that the critters could get out of our cage because they were so tiny. I'm just not used to baby animals. lol

Anyway, I am really glad that we were able to get the girls while they are still very young. They are already becoming more accustomed to being handled, and I will be diligent to handle them every day. The only other option that I would have had was to drive way out, to visit a rattery. While that would be wonderful, to have a ratty that has been handled since birth, it just didn't make much sense to make the long drive. So, instead we chose to keep someone(s) from becoming snake food. As it is, DH already had to remind me about that, when I asked a clerk why he would put an adult rat in a paper bag upon sale. DH just leaned over and said, "he's food". I confess, I'd have a real hard time eating meat if I had to kill it myself. I still think that I could kill chickens though, sometimes. They would have to be ornery chickens. I might even be able to eat beef if I got cow-kicked. *chuckles*

Posted at 12:05 am by Jenna
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Tuesday, April 12, 2005

.::Reflections 5,6::.

Reflections on...

Created To Be His Help Meet
by Debi Pearl

Chapter 5

The Gift of Wisdom

-Do you have enough fear of God not to question his Word?-

Maybe there are women who understand more fully why they were created, and they did not struggle as much as I did. I haven't actually met one of these women, but I would like to think that not every Christian woman begins her marriage in ignorance and/or rebellion.

As I've stated many times, I was just not this ideal woman. More to the point, I can choose every day if I am going to react positively to God's heirarchy and design, or if I am going to stomp my feet and bemoan not having a greater position of authority. There have been plenty of times when I have placed myself in the role of victim and complained that my husband didn't deserve my tender care. The truth of it all really snuck up on me one day, and is reaffirmed for me numerous times while reading this book.

This isn't neccessarily all about my husband and myself. The Lord wants me to honor my husband and help him in this life as a means of honoring Christ, himself. Regardless of how loving and attentive my husband is, I still have work to do. I do not get a free pass, just because there are days when life doesn't go the way that I would like it to. It can be hard though, knowing what God would have me do, and then coming up with the strength to carry out what may seem inpossible. Some days, it seems like the job is simply too difficult to accomplish, and on those days it really shows what motivators drive me and what is important in my life. I don't know about anyone else, but at the end of the day, I want to be able to say that love of God fueled my fire and by the grace of the Lord, I was able to do what is right.

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men (and women) liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." James 1:5

How is it possible that a woman can know the truth of God's design concerning women? Of course, the answer is by reading His book. *grins* As Debi points out, there are plenty of "scholars" who are very eager to do away with any idea of submission, or that a woman could ever have a role helper instead of higher authority. I agree wholeheartedly with Debi, in that the bible speaks pretty plainly, and that the message is consistant through the bible. So, then we just have to decide what we are going to do with it. Are we going to heed thet Word of God, or are we going to try and decide what is best for us? Do we trust God? Do we love God enough to turn over the reins of our life and accept that our lives are no longer our own, as born-again children of our Almight God?

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church; and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing". Ephesians 5:22-24

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord" Colossians 3:18

"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." 1 Corinthians 11:3

God gives us the wisdom that we need in learning how to work according to His will, within our marriages. All we have to do is pray and ask for this amazing gift. By reacting to my husband according to the guidance of God's wisdom, there have been great changes in my heart. I have been able to live with more joy in my heart, and it has not only made me much happier, but that happiness has had a profound effect on my husband. Because I made the purposeful effort to stop letting my emotions rule me, and to instead put my trust in the Lord, miracles have been worked within my marriage. If I had continued on as I were, I do not doubt that I would be a divorced mother right now. I thank God for His wisdom that He shares with me as I ask, and for the guidance of more experienced women who have already taken the plunge in placing God first in their marriage.

Chapter 6

The Beginning of Wisdom

-We live under a law of sowing and reaping that is as certain and unrelenting as disease and death-

Ooooo....... even the word "Fear" makes my hair stand on end. Still, I enjoy what Debi has to say about fear being a motivator in this chapter. As she puts it:

"Wisdom is concieved in a strange place. It is fathered by fear."

How many times do you hear that these days? I don't know about anyone else, but I just don't hear talk like that where I am. Ever. If I want to hear a sermon that mentions judgement of God or dealing with consequences for stepping outside of God's will, I had better put my walking shoes on. In our society, so many churches have become hesitant to "offend" people that much guidance from God's Word is being purposefully overlooked. Where I am, feminism runs ramant, so much that I know a brother in Christ who dared make a comment about submission, and then quickly admonished HIMSELF, for fear that our peers (not to mention, his wife) would take him apart. I would definitely say that there is something wrong with this picture. I would submit to people that in this society, while many people are living without a fear of God, but are still living in fear none-the-less. Instead of trembling on our faces before God, we are laying down before our popular society and caving to their expectations instead of the Lord's. Hey, that makes me pretty fearful. If I am going to put anyone in my heart, to have a place of such fear and reverance, it's going to have to be God. Society may shun me and persecute me, but what is the alternative? I fear the judgement of the Lord much more than mankind. To be honest, I don't fear God's wrath so much as I fear His disapproval. In my heart, I really do view God as my Father in Heaven. I never could stand to see the look of disappointment on my earthly father's face when he looked at me. Can you imaging how much more strongly I feel about God? I would much rather have the words "well done, good and faithful servant".

"But our actions and reactions do indead reap painful results in this present life as well as in eternity." Debi Pearl

In this chapter, Debi talks about how important it is to fear the Lord and to make changes in our lives accordingly. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and if I want to have that wisdom, I had better get my heart in order and make God important to me.

One revelation that Debi shares, is that her heart became convicted that she needed to heed God's command in "the aged woman...teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands..." (titus 2:3-4) Trying to teach older women was not having a very pleasing result, and so she realized that she had to reach women when they were still young and more willing to learn. What I took away from this is that I need to make changes in my life NOW, and not put them off for another day, when I may already have hardened my heart toward the Lord in one manner or another. There is not time to waste. I do not want to be an angry old woman, unable to find peace in life because I wanted to make a war, and not a Godly marriage.

Another area of this chapter really struck me, as it probably has many women. It is hard reading about a wife who tries to manipulate her husband because she feels that she is more 'spiritually minded' than he is. Instead of giving herself over to her husband's authority, she fights and says that she will not be subject to a 'carnal man', while not recognizing her own sinfulness in her deathgrip on rebellion. I'll tell you that I don't want to be that woman. Ooo! I run from that woman!! Of course, I run so quickly because a part of me recognizes that same attitude lurking in the recesses of my own heart. It has been a hard row to hoe, destroying that destructive notion that I know better than everyone, especially my husband, and even God. Pride and selfishness are awful, and having that fear of the Lord has gone a long way to stomp on that sinfulness. I've read enough on how God deals with those who are prideful and selfish, those who think that they know so much more than He does. I can't tell you how many times that I've prayed for God to save me from myself, and the evil things that my heart is capable of. Lord save me! lol

No one really likes a mean-spirited crazy woman, and that is what I would sound like if God were not walking me through my marriage and helping me to correct my missteps. So long as I hold tight to Him, there is victory. I have been that "crazy woman" before, and I definitely wouldn't sign up for it again. I think that what we do need to keep in mind though is that there isn't JUST judgement from God when we act like idiots. It is right to have fear of the Lord. Likewise, it is right to turn and ask forgiveness for sins also, so you can begin anew in your marriage. While this particular point wasn't addressed in this chapter, I felt like adding my own note. We know that our God is not only a wrathful God, but also a God of mercy. Just because we may have failed miserably as help meets, it does not mean that what was awful must stay awful. Now is the time to do as Debi suggests, in practicing doing what is good so that it becomes natural to us.

For some wonderful chapter reviews on "Created To Be His Help Meet", please visit My Three Pennies Worth ,Walking Circumspectly, and Roses & Tea2!

Posted at 10:36 am by Jenna
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Monday, April 11, 2005

Working Through My Day

As a person who makes war on bipolar disorder on a daily basis, today has been a bit of a trial. More truthfully, the past couple weeks have been more than a little bit of an ordeal. I am very thankful to have a husband who is understanding and looks to love me when I am at my worst.

When I make reference to being loved, I don't mean that he feeds the fire of some sense of affection for me. No, he has the strength to make things happen and to pick me up when I am emotionally fallen. Things that seem so small to other people, can become so big when you have issues with emotional stability. The other day, I found myself sitting on the couch and crying, because I didn't want to wash the dishes or cook. I sniffled at my husband and he kissed the top of my head and nuzzled my hair, knowing that I didn't feel good. After all, simple things like cooking and cleaning are normal for me, and I do actually enjoy them. When I wanted to hide under a pillow and pout, DH made me give him a big 'ole hug. Then, he began cleaning our home. Just having a partner in doing menial chores was great. Things were done so quickly, and even when I stood at the sink with the dishes again, I wasn't feeling quite so bad. All it took was that first five minutes, of my husband showing me that I didn't have to do it alone, that he would help me or even do it all himself, if that would take the pressure off. I cycle at a high rate, so 20 minutes later you would never have guessed that before people started showing up at my house, I was a mushy wreak.

I love my husband. I thank God that he (and HE) loves me too. :o )

Today has been a similar funkiness. I stayed in bed for quite a while this morning, listening to DD's cartoons, and trying to will myself out of bed. I have been oddly tired lately, and fell asleep extra early last night after reading through this past week's text in our family's "Sunday Missal" and chapters 1 &2 of Acts. I decided to stop reading when the words got fuzzy and they weren't making much sense anyway. Odd. Real odd. Anyway, I slept a long time.

The rowing machine that DH bought me for my birthday helped me today. DH had been fooling with it last night, and had left it out when he went to bed. So, it was there when I got up. Instead of putting it away, I decided to go through a moderate/steady workout. Thirty minutes later, I was feeling much better, not only concerning my emotional slump, but that cake that I had too. *laughs* Folks should always take birthday cake leftovers home with them. Leaving it here is bad. Thankfully, I cut the pieces real small.

I am feeling better now, and have been contributing to my moderate lift of spirit with some good praise music. I am one of those people who are really effected by what they hear, and singing out some praises to the Lord really picks me up. Now I am ready start dinner, and to sit down with DD and work on her "school" work a bit.

Speaking of learning, I am just loving the Leap Pad + Writing that my dad got DD for Christmas. I was so loathe to open the box because of the fiasco at the holiday, but now I am grateful to have it. I decided that I wasn't going to make DD do without the gift because I was harboring some complicated feelings about my father. Anywho, we have been working on her alphabet and letters, and the booklet that she has really is helping to keep her interested. I like the fact that she can still trace the shapes of letters and numbers, and do the games, all without the pencil in the attached stylus. I let her use the pad for practice with her coordination, and then we write on paper with a regular pencil. Our fridge is wonderfully decorated with homemade worksheets, and DD has something to show her aunts when they come to visit. She is so proud. I also like the fact that I can bring her pad when we go out to eat, and she can work on her booklet while we wait. We did that this weekend, and it was so much more pleasant of a wait. In that regard, she is very much like her father, in that neither of them like to sit still for very long. I am more geared toward thinking, reading, planning, etc. They, however, prefer to just go and work through things with their hands. It's a good thing that they have me! lol It's a good thing that I have them! *laughs*

Alrighty, I'm off. I think that I'm going to fire up the grill tonight and BBQ some chicken for dinner. For some reason, it is so much more relaxing to cook food over an open fire. Yes, I'm weird, but we already know that. Just overlook the fact that I killed a whole package of hotdogs on saturday because I got distracted while talking with my family. Ooops! lol

Oh, and by the way, I wanted to show you part of a picture that I set up as my desktop image today. Isn't that rattie just so cute?! I love baby rats. Anyway, I thought that it looked like he was praying, so I added the text from 2 Chronicles 6:19-20. I thought it was fitting.

Don't those ears make you think of fievel, from "An American Tail"? *chuckles* I just want to stick a little hat on the poor creature. lol

If it isn't terribly obvious, I am missing Henry today. It always made me feel good when I would rub his little brown head, and he would close his eyes with such obvious pleasure. Who else is going to play tag with me around the trees in the park? The dog isn't allowed, and kids are so much more fun for DD these days...... I miss my Henry!

Posted at 05:27 pm by Jenna
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Sunday, April 10, 2005

Hey, I'm game....

I'm a sucker for quizzes and games, so since everyone else seems to be taking this thing, I did too. Hey, if I can take a quiz on which "Incredibles" character I am, I think that I can manage one about Christian denominations. I got the link from Molly, if you want to eyeball her stats too. :o )

Christian Traditions Selector

1: Eastern Orthodox  (100%)
2: Presbyterian/Reformed  (88%)
3: Anglican/Episcopal/Church of England  (85%)
4: Congregational/United Church of Christ  (77%)
5: Methodist/Wesleyan/Nazarene  (77%)
6: Church of Christ/Campbellite  (71%)
7: Pentecostal/Charismatic/Assemblies of God  (71%)
8: Anabaptist (Mennonite/Quaker etc.)  (68%)
9: Roman Catholic  (68%)
10: Lutheran  (65%)
11: Baptist (Reformed/Particular/Calvinistic)  (62%)
12: Seventh-Day Adventist  (57%)
13: Baptist (non-Calvinistic)/Plymouth Brethren/Fundamentalist  (45%)

Might I add that this is kind of funny? *silly grin* I don't know anything about the eastern orthodox church, or even the presbyterian/reformed folks. Just call me 'denominationally dumb'. I do attend a Lutheran church though, which I'm ranked at 10 of 13 on. I think that's cute. I think that it's the communion question that decided that. lol Like good ol' Molly, there were some questions that just didn't seem to have what I would really say. So, I had to pick the closest to how I really believe. It was a real experience though, answering questions with my own view, instead of the one that has been taught to me since childhood. I guess this is where it puts me for now. I bet I probably would have come up a little different if I had answered something other than "not sure" on the rapture question. Like I said yesterday, it's such a non-issue with me that I just don't ponder it. It's good to have an idea of how God likes to work things, but I'm not anywhere near hungup on predicting the exact hows and whens. I think that doing that tends to distract people from the stuff we're supposed to be doing. It's ok to spend a little while pondering and supposing, but there is no sense in drawing lines of separation among we children of God over something like that.

At least this gives me something to poke my nose into. Now I am curious. I'll catch y'all later! I'm gonna take a trip around the internet....

Hmmm.......the more that I read about the Eastern Orthodox Church, the less I find that I agree with them on many things. It does lead me to wonder why I scored so high under that denomination, honestly. lol Here are some points that I could not agree with, that I came across through my reading today.

Referring to Mary as "mother of God". (My personal view is that while Mary gave birth to Jesus, calling her the "mother of God" elevates her to a position that I do not believe is hers and makes her more important than she honestly ever was. I respect the wonderful example of Mary's submission, and leave it at that.)

Teaching that Mary remained a virgin after Jesus' birth. (I don't see the point in teaching something that is not able to be proven, that which is most unlikely, and that which has little importance anyway.)

Praying to saints. (It is not needed, and in my opinion, leads folks into idolotry.)

Believes the Bible is imperfect, which is another reason why we need tradition, which contributes the unwritten teachings of Jesus. (I'm stubborn with the idea that the bible contains all that we need to know. Oh yes, and silly typos aside, I believe that the message of the bible has been maintained through the text and is without fault.)

Believe that through iconography, "The icons become a real, sacramental presence of the persons or realities depicted in them, thus leading the faithful to communion with the person or the reality depicted in them." (Need I say that this sounds too close to necromancy and just sorta creeps me out??)

Praying for the dead and/or giving alms to benefit the dead. (Anything that folks could do to influence their judgment, I belive has already been done, before they have died. I also don't believe that giving or doing something in another person's name betters that person in the eyes of God.)

Of course, my point isn't to pick on the E.O. Church. Folks are free to choose their own manners of worship, regardless of my opinion. lol We are all accountable for our own lives before the Lord. So, I guess I get to move down to the next on the list................ *chuckles*

Posted at 03:21 pm by Jenna
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