Here are my answers to the interview questions that Mandy has been so kind as to include me in on. My endeavor is to try and give complete answers, without putting anyone to sleep. *laughs*

1. Tell us the story of how you and your husband got together.

*laughs* You should have seen the look on DH's face when he read this request. I didn't know if he was laughing or choking on his tongue, but since you asked....

At the time that DH and I met, I was dating a boy who was not very good for me, and treated me poorly. One of my girlfriends was concerned about me, and she had been having a conversation with her boyfriend when his friend was somehow included in the conversation. She gave this friend a picture of me, and he swears to this day that he knew right then that we would marry.

It began innocently enough, *snickers* with DH catching my boyfriend online, telling him that if he didn't treat me right that he was going to get himself into a world of hurt. Being the curious bug that I am, I just had to talk with a boy who would stand up for a girl that he didn't even know. I had no clue that he knew my friend, or that they had had some pretty informative conversations about me. So, he and I began talking frequently over the computer, which completely annoyed the boy that I was steady with. Then, one day we got it into our heads that we should meet.

You know, I sat in the mall for 20 minutes, thinking that I had somehow missed this guy, whom I had never seen. It wasn't until he got up to leave that I noticed where he was sitting, hidden from my view by a brick planter. Like a weirdo, I ran out of the building after him and called out his name. I felt like the biggest idiot, expecting half the folks in the parking lot to turn around. I was right in my guess though, and this scrubby looking guy with the most beautiful hair in the whole world turned around, and walked me back into the mall. We spent about an hour, walking around and talking, two big bunches of nerves.

I'll say that his looks weren't what first attracted me. At the time, he had this scruffy attempt at a mustache, a beat up concert t-shirt, and ripped jeans. However, I already knew his personality, and it was fun to get to know him in person. Have I mentioned that he has absolutely gorgeous brown eyes? Anyway, from that point, we became instant friends. A couple times we went to see a movie together, when my boyfriend had decided that he and I needed to "see other people". So, for about a year, this new boy and I just hung out and got to know each other and our quirkiness. Leaving out the terribly mushy part, my life went through some big changes, and I was incredibly blessed to have such a great guy interested in me. By the time the snow had thawed in the spring of 2000, we were making plans for a darling summer wedding.

2. What are the top three things you love to do when you have three hours to yourself with no interruptions. Assuming that ever happens with a husband, little girl, and pets!

Oh my goodness, that would be a real achievement. *laughs* I can't even use the bathroom without my daughter or the cat knocking on the door. Yes, the cat knocks. Anyway, wow. I think that I would actually go a little crazy if I had to go three hours without my family. Maybe I'm weird, but I get lonely real easy. It is rare that I get so undone by people that I need time away. If I try to grocery shop without DD, I am actually sad not to have the goofy conversation and company while walking around the store. If I had to pick something though, I would say, I would probably go to the gym. If I didn't have anyone depending on me, I would probably go and get sweaty for an hour and a half, doing cardio and weights. Maybe I'd even get adventurous and try one of those kickboxing classes. Then I'd probably spend the last hour and a half soaking in the jacuzzi at the gym, and then turning myself into a jennacicle in a cool shower.
 

3. What is your very favorite verse in The Bible, and why.

I have a really hard time trying to pick a favorite verse, because I'm not sure that I have one. My favorite changes with the situations coming to fruition within my life. One verse that I find is pretty steady in my life is Ephesians 2:8, which I use to ground myself a lot.

4. (I thought this was a really great question, so I'm borrowing it) What is your biggest 'Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm doing this' moment.

My biggest moment? Oh, that's a no-brainer. *chuckles* I don't usually bring this up, but I worried that I was going to throw up all over myself on the day of my wedding. Many people don't know this about me, but before I learned how blessed I could be through a relationship, I was a real commitment-phobe. I hadn't thought that I would ever actually get married, so when I found myself sitting in my dressing room while everyone was filling the chapel. I was so overcome with the idea that this was something that I was really going to do. It affected me so deeply that no one who was farther back than the first 3 rows probably heard any of my vows. I was so enveloped in the experience and the weight of it that it was all I could do to get the words out. My love heard me though, and that's all that really matters. If anyone doubts that anything actually came out of my mouth, we have a video of the whole ceremony! *chuckles* (The camera was in a floral arrangement, right next to us. lol)

5. Ignore the strife lately with your sister, and tell me a couple things you truly love about her.

First, I will go out on a limb and guess that you are referring to my little sister, just because I've written about her so much lately. I actually have two sisters, both who are younger than myself, though not by much.

I love my little sister a great deal. While she has found a remarkable ability to create problems for herself, little sister is a soft-hearted woman. One of the things that I love so much about her is how much she loves her babies. Unlike many people these days, she views each of them as a real blessing and is thankful to have them. Little sister is very open to loving people who have been hurt by the cruelty of others because of physical challenges. Maybe it is that she can identify with people because of her struggle with poor eyesight and her more recent diagnosis of epilepsy, but she sees the value in each person and the ability for greatness that we all have. These are things that I love about my little sister.

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If you are interested in being interviewed by me, here are the rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me.”

2. I will respond by asking you five questions here. They will be different questions than the ones above.

3. You will update YOUR blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

 

I wanted to write a little something here about the reasons why I blog. They aren't particularly grand, but I wanted to talk about them anyway. I will attempt to keep it somewhat short, as much as I am able. I seem to be a type-set motor mouth, if everyone hasn't already noticed.

In the beginning, there was a pen. *laughs* I've never enjoyed writing with pencils, probably because of the scratching noise that they make on paper. That aside, my mother always complained that I was never good at erasing my mistakes anyway, so it didn't seem much more effective to choose pencils over pens. So, very young in my adolescence, I began writing.

When I first began putting my thoughts down on paper, they were not in such a personal method as I use now. Instead, I would draw up elaborate stories of other girls, with other lives, and life changing experiences. While my use of grammar was terrible, I did have a love for story telling, as ineffective as I was. My journal writing did not make an official appearance until shortly after my twentieth birthday.

Now, don't think that I say this to ellicit sympathies, but I began journaling at the time that my son died. It was no longer a strong enough statement to write about ficticious people. I had emotions and wild feelings just pouring from the depths of my heart. These words had to come out in one way or another, so I chose a very ugly journal with pink flowers on the cover, that a bereavement consult had given me. I gave up trying to make my letters nice and neat, and sometimes when I read through my thoughts, I can hardly make sense of them. However, none of that detracts from their importance, that I let out what was eating at me, purging myself in a more positive way. I would write down my interactions with people, and even scribble down the prayers and cries that came from my heart.

One day, I realized that I had done enough healing, that I needed more than simply a place to vent. I no longer wanted to be an emotional bulimic. After purging so long, I desired to be filled. So, in an effort to put my journal to better use, I try to use it as a tool for replenishing myself. Of course, there are still days when I have need to spill forth the turmoil inside, but I also have many more days when I revel in the good works of the Lord and his many blessings that he's given me.

The Lord has filled me, and this is my overflow container. I am not a great theologian, and I do not try to be. What I DO look forward to, is sharing some of my experiences with other young women. Maybe, just maybe, they will find something within themselves that can identify with me, and they will be able to take something away from the lessons that God has taught me, without having to put themselves through the pain that comes part-and-parcel with so many lessons. Whether someone uses anything that I say, in their lives, at least other women have the ability to know that in so many areas- they are not alone.

Why are you there, oh whisker of mine?
You make me feel old, way before my time.
I'm really sort of young, though you seen unaware
It might just be because of my grandma underwear.

My joints ache, and I creak like a wicker chair
And I groan as I climb each of my basement stairs.
I feel like my eyebrows are controling my face,
At least until my pseudo mustache tries to take over every space.

It's quite unattractive, the plucking and wax.
It seems more appealing to invest in brown paper sacks.
No more styling this wild hair on my head,

The Confession of Sins

I am not a member of the Catholic church, which I feel is neccessary to state from the beginning. However, I am also not any type of declared enemy of these brothers and sisters in Christ either. I will use that as my tiny disclaimer for this small writing.

A few years ago, I had the pleasure of visiting a very beautiful Catholic church, which is not far from my home. Being that I have never been Catholic, there haven't been many parishes that I have had the opportunity to look upon. So, I was in for a real treat when I walked through the doors of Our Lady of Mount Carmel. The building is not exceptionally large compared to other churches in the area, but there was definitely something different that set the place apart from others.

I will admit to being stunned, and I sat in a stupor for approximately an hour, marveling at the beauty of this building. I had never seen a place so beautifully decorated with exquisite paintings and pounded gold leaf. I was surrounded by art, illustrations of Biblical happenings. As a minor student of art, my fingers just itched for some way to convey the way that the place impacted my senses. But on a different level, I was touched even more. I had gone to Church to accompany a most wonderful woman as she prayed on bended knee, awaiting the time that the priest would hear her confession.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. [James 5:16]

While I do not like the term, I am a member of a 'protestant' church congregation. It is pretty common knowledge that we do not have to confess our sins to our pastor for absolution and blessing. Based on the reference in the book of James, I also follow the way of thinking that confession does not need to be made before clergy in order that one's sins would be forgiven. I believe that if a person only ever confessed their sins to the Lord, they are still the redeemed of the Lord, given that they have accepted the sacrifice of Jesus' Christ to pay their sin debt.

On the other hand, I do see a great gift in the call to confess our sins to each other, in that we can have freedom from the things that we keep hidden away from the world. When I hear the confessions of other people (mostly women, mind you), I feel a weight come off of my own heart, that I am not the only one struggling with any one particular sin. I am yet again reminded that no person can be perfect in this fallen world, save Jesus. In the same manner, I hope that my own personal testimonies are helpful to other people, not to encourage them to sin, but to know that they are not alone. My Lord has not forsaken me, a poor, miserable sinner. He hasn't forsaken them either. It is a lesson that some people have a very hard time swallowing, that they could still be loved after having defied God so many times in their life.

Much has been given to priests, and as such, much will be required of them. For this reason, I believe that there is the potential for much learning and guidance in confessing sins directly to one's priest (or instert whatever term for your minister of God). Ideally, this person would be one of the most qualified persons with whom one might seek council and aide, someone who has made a point to dedicate his life to being a servant of God. While his words will not hold any more power than the next man, for sharing the good news concerning the forgiveness of sins, a priest would most likely be able to give strong guidance in becoming free from the sin. For this reason, I do not speak against the confession of sins to a priest. I think that this can be a beautiful and edifying experience.

My pastor has said during a number of sermons that our corporate confession was acceptable, and that God knows our hearts. So, it was not neccessary for us to spell out each act that we had committed against God, before our brothers and sisters. However, he did invite people to come and speak with him in private if they still had issues that were plaguing them. Because of what he has said to us, I believe that it is very healthy to give an ear to those who are tormented by their sin and will not accept forgiveness. These people need a special word, a reassurance from the Lord that He loves them and that He forgives them in their heartfelt repentence. I have found myself, a time or two, needing that reassurance. It meant a great deal to me to hear from a man that I much respected, because of his obedience to the Lord, that I was not too filthy to be saved.

As I sat in the pew of this beautifully ornate building, I was most awed by the power of the Holy Spirit that I felt in the place. There were no jubilant bands leading throngs in loud songs, no teenagers holding their hands in the air. There were no striking sermons, and the building could have been a cave with an alter of clay brick. The most beautiful sight in this shell of wood, plaster, and paint was that of God's children humbling themselves before Him. Heads were bowed in prayer as the repentant knelt to speak with the Lord. You could have heard a pin drop, but overpowering the silence was the vibrating fear and reverence of God that permeated the air and everyone who drew breath.

One might wonder why it was that this moment in time made such an impression on me. After all, I have experienced many times when the Holy Spirit has come up on me and elated my heart to the point that I wanted to burst with joy, or has convicted my heart and cloaked me in love so strong that I have been brought to tears. This experience was so marvelously striking to me because I realized that I could feel God, though I had rejected Him. I was not a Christian when I walked through those doors, but I could feel the Lord tugging gently on my heart. The heart-condition and faith of believers slowly brought me back to my Lord. One of the women that I believe was largely used as a tool to turn my heart back toward God is that lovely woman that took me with her while she sought out confession. Thank you, Mary Ellen.