.......or at least it feels like it has been. *laughs*

My back is still sore, though not nearly as much as it was yesterday. Last night, I decided to throw caution to the wind and heed the niggling voice inside. So, I hopped up on my rowing machine last night and exercised for 20 minutes. Then, I set down the handgrip, crossed my hands behind my back, and worked my legs on the slide. Not only did it work my legs, but I also felt the workout in my stomach and my back (building core strength). Instead of waking up in a bundle of pain, I wasn't doing too bad.

I never did get around to reading DD her book yesterday, so when she woke up this morning, she climbed up into bed with me, book in tow. So, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, slipped on my glasses, and read her the story. It was a somewhat long book for one sitting. It was a nice feeling though, starting the day with my girl, doing something that we both enjoy so much.

There wasn't a whole lot to do around the house today, since I managed to get most things done yesterday. I cooked oats this morning, and tormented my sugar-addicted self with oatmeal minus the sugar, plus a few raisins, and a dash of cinnamon. I added a little milk just for the sake of it, and made myself eat it. You know, it wasn't bad. The raisins were just enough to keep me from making faces the whole time. It makes me remember the stint that I had with atkins, when I had a strawberry after induction, and felt like I just sucked a whole tablespoon of sugar. *laughs* I bet that the oatmeal would have been heavenly then. I'm just so hooked on this stupid white stuff. It seems to be in everything these days. Not only that, but DH is just no help in my endeavor to eat right. Oh well. He's not the one with the fat problem; I am. So, I'm going to just have to figure this one out on my own. Temptation doesn't stop existing just because I have to get my act together. I've joked with him before that it almost seems easier if he'd just lock me in the bedroom and only let me out for bathroom breaks. At least then, I could get through the detox time without going too crazy. lol Either that, or someone needs to pick me for the next round of "Survivor". I could stand to lose 1+ lbs. per day. I might even learn how to fish. lol

Anywho, I digress. After I finished writing my outline for the latest CTBHHM chapters (yes, I procrastinated), I sat down for a time and typed out everything, and looked around the internet a bit. I'm somewhat bored without my Mollers, but that is my own malfunction. lol Everyone seems to be a little busy and/or behind on whatever they are doing, so my information monster was hungry. Instead of listening to it growl and rumble, I turned off the computer and wandered into the kitchen. I checked my meal planning board (read: dry erase board) and noticed that I had scheduled a dinner of grilled cheese sandwiches. Ah, and easy night with nothing to defrost. I like having those from time to time. So, I headed outside.

Because I just love my husband to pieces, I decided that I was going to do something special for him. I waded through the mess that is his garage, dug out the mower, and I cut the grass. Oh, what an endeavor! lol For city-ish folks, we do have a decent sized yard. With all of the rain, our grass had grown at an incredible rate. So, I got my exercise by pushing the mower around and doing battle with the forest of grass blades and the voracious dandelions. Having beat them into submission, I stopped long enough to breathe, and the neighbor kids came over.

The afternoon was spent on cleaning up the yard from our last lighting of the fire pit. I did manage to move the picnic table out of the way so I could cut the grass, and it is a wonder that I can still walk. That thing is monstrously heavy for being half rotted and falling apart. But, I got the yard cleaned, and the kids ran around cheerfully until DD smacked one of the boys across the face. Then I had to listen to her scream bloody murder after she got in trouble, because she is such an actress these days. I'm so tempted to repeat the dreaded words that my parents used to use on me. "You had better quit that screaming and crying, or I'll give you something to cry about!" It never did have the desired effect though, not exactly. Instead, we nearly imploded by trying to suck in the crying hiccupy stage, while drowning in mucus and salty tears. *chuckles* But, at least sniffling is quieter than dramatic sobbing.

Still, even after the offense, the kids played on with fervor. It is refreshing to see that they don't hold grudges like their adult counterparts. So, on they played in the plastic playhouse, wrestled with the dog, and chucked sticks in my general direction (for the dog, don't you know). lol Oh, that is, until the boys went home, and while I was talking with their mom, DD came out of the play house with her little girl friend's undies. What?! Yup, that's what I said too. Apparently, the little girl had wet, and she took off the undies and gave them to DD because she didn't want to wear them. The girl's mom was a bit embarassed, and I couldn't help but crack up. After all, as I shared with her, at least it wasn't DD doing something like that THIS TIME. lol She's done some rather interesting things in times past.....

After bathing and dinner, playtime and a story about Eeyore, all is quiet. I've been playfully reprimanded for being abnormal, because I walk around the house, brushing my teeth. No, I'm not foaming. Sometimes I just like to scrub my teeth as I watch tv, read, type, etc. I know, I'm weird. But, since there is no changing that part of me, we had better all be resigned to the fact. In the meantime, I'm going to practice my weirdness on my husband, because he secretly likes it anyway. *chuckles*

Tomorrow's blogging topic: When the Truth Hurts

For more on "Created To Be His Help Meet", please visit my fellow bloggers at  Walking Circumspectly, Stand up and Walk, and RosesandTeax2.

Congratulations to Molly, from My Three Pennies, who is making friends with her newest blessing, a beautiful baby boy!

reflections on ....

Created To Be His Help Meet
by Debi Pearl

Preface to Part II

We have now reached the second part of the book, which Debi labels as "Titus 2". In this section, she outlines what she plans to address in this next section of the book, by outlining points in Titus 2:3-5 as "eight practical game rules".

"The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be [1] sober, [2] to love their husbands, [3] to love their children, [4] To be discreet, [5] chaste, [6] keepers at home, [7] good, [8] obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God not be blasphemed"

Debi goes on to stress how strong the word "blaspheme" is, and that while the text does not refer to the unpardonable sin (blaspheming the Holy Spirit), this is a very strong warning to women.

Chapter 15
1. To Be Sober
Titus 2:4: "That they may teach the young women to be sober..."

"To be sober: To do one's duty, be moderate, self-controlled, thoughtful, and to learn to make wise decisions and judgments."

This chapter deals a greatly with a matter that seems so very blunt- common sense. Debi begins by making the observation that upon marriage, women must recognize the value of her position, and how to do it well. Not only that, but there was much mention of the word "joyous" in these first small paragraphs. Again and again, Mrs. Pearl calls women to be joyful, and to see their duties in a joyful light.

"When a woman soberly considers the needs, time schedule, and resources of her home, then she will be a more efficient help meet."

Yes, in a word, this chapter is about PLANNING. I definitely enjoyed this chapter, most likely because I am a very "organizationally minded". I like to know just what needs to be done, and which of these duties I will try to tackle each day. I haven't progressed to planning out my clothing, but it is because I wear much of the same type of clothing most days. *laughs* Still, I have multiple dry erase boards for my different lists, computer spreadsheets, and a composition book for all of my organizational needs. *nods* This chapter is right up my alley.

In the first letter of this chapter, a wife shares her complaints about being tired because her children became sick, and their house was not kept clean. Her husband came home, wondering what happened to the house, and wanted to know when dinner would be ready. As Debi pointed out, the husband's insensitivity is wrong, but that a wife should not match wrong for wrong. Instead, she goes on to stress how important planning is, in making things work smoothly, especially when someone is ill.

One of Debi's suggestions is that women utilize crock pots. Oh, I couldn't agree more. I know that when I anticipate being particularly busy during a day, it is such a blessing to be able to put things in a crock pot, and not think about it all day. There is no boiling pot to watch, and it takes care of itself until meal time. This frees up so much time and attention to be spent elsewhere, whether it be doing massive amounts of yard work, or caring for sick children. I definitely second Debi's suggestion to use a crock pot. *nods* I bet there are lots of women out there, just like my sister, who has a crock pot sitting around and collecting dust because they don't know how to use it. Believe me, it is easy, easy, EASY! :o ) Don't be intimidated by the crock pot. It can be your best friend on particularly crazy days.

In the next section, Debi advises mothers to simplify their meal choices.

"Several options will only confuse the child's spirit. Choices also give room for argument or discontentment."

Boy, I definitely know what she is talking about in this section. I have a young child, and there are some days when she can drive me right up the wall if I give her too many options. After deciding what she wants for breakfast or lunch, she will change her mind right after I have made the meal, and she will fuss and whine for the other option. I learned real quick that I needed to make up my own mind, and that if I was going to offer a choice for mealtime, it was going to only be two choices. Now, I don't treat my husband in the same way. He isn't under my authority, not to mention the fact that he isn't nearly as picky as a 4 year old. *laughs* I am open to ideas, and I will be receptive on many days. However, for simplicity's sake, I normally serve the same thing for breakfast each day. I do change things up every week though, so no one (including myself) doesn't become terribly bored.

After dealing with meal planning and some simple crock pot ideas, Debi moves on to the premise that when a woman who honors and obeys her husband, it can have an affect on the whole family. While I agree with Debi, it isn't from the same point of view that she has expressed. In this section, she illustrates the good lessons that she was given by the elder women in her family. In contrast, the women in my family have been quite the opposite in expression, action, and advice. It has been very hard for me to learn how to enjoy serving any man, because of the poor image of men that was cultivated in my head since childhood. I have also been a very emotional child (and now, adult), which makes it a little more difficult to resist taking offense. It has been a real growing experience for me to absorb percieved hurts and offense, and let it go, without letting my emotions get the better of me. While it has been difficult, my life is so much easier now, and I am happier for it.

In the section "What is a Cold Dinner?", a friend of Mrs. Pearl shares a story from her early years as a wife. She tells of a time when she worked very hard to prepare a hot meal for her husband, who was very hot and tired after work. When he came home, he told her that it was the kind of day for a cold meal, something she had never heard of. I could see myself in this story, because there were many days when I work try so hard to cook a meal, only to find out that my husband wasn't very fond of what I made for any variety of reasons. While this woman had no idea what a "cold dinner" was, I was unsure of how to make a meal that my husband would enjoy. After all, I did not grow up in the same family as he did, and my mother cooked in a far different manner than his grandmother. I was lost. I'll admit that some times I did not adapt as well as Mrs. Lansing, who shared the story. While I never wanted to throw dinner at my husband, there were many times when I was choking back tears because I felt that my hard work was not appreciated. Even when my husband would valiantly pick at a dinner he didn't like, I wasn't happy to see that he was trying to make the best of it. Over time though, I have learned how to adjust to my husbands tastes and habits, and to some extent, he has come my way a bit too. I agree with Mrs. Lansing, in that it is a matter of wanting to learn to please one's husband, and to learn what he enjoys.

Next, Debi addresses the "success" of the women's "liberation" movement, and how it has worked it's way into just about every aspect of our lives. In contrast, she shares with us a text that was found in a 1950s home economics school book. I chuckled a bit when I read the suggestions contained within, because I have read the "How to Be a Good Wife Today" material on the internet. When I first read it, I was agast at the idea that a woman could make a man so important in her life. As you can tell, I am of a far different mind. As I read through the material, I see many things that I do already, out of consideration for my husband. It is a fun read, and the suggestions given really are good to keep in mind. *nods*

To close the chapter, Debi discusses women who become so obsessed with keeping their homes "just right" that they become short with anyone who puts anything out of place. She uses the example of a child spilling milk on the couch, or making a mess of the carpet. I can read this portion of the chapter and see the wisdom in keeping priorities straight, but I just can't identify with this type of woman. The only time when I am particularly protective over the cleanliness of my home or child is about the last 15 minutes of the afternoon, before my husband comes home from work. Of course, that is because whatever messes we've had fun making during the day, we make sure to have cleaned up, so daddy comes home to a comfortable home. None of us are particularly picky about the cleaning though, so long as things are 80% done. lol So, the sales adds can sit on the kitchen counter, but all the stuffed animals must be chased back into the toy box. *laughs*

Chapter 16
2. To Love Their Husbands
Titus 2:4: "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands..."

 

Ok, I will be short about this chapter, because I think that much of this stuff should be handled in a very private manner. In this chapter, Debi speaks upon the sexual relationship between a man and his wife. She makes a point to illustrate that in this manner, a wife can minister to her husband's needs.

In the first letter of the chapter, a gentleman writes that his wife believes him to be a pervert because he has sexual needs. His wife has any number of excuses for not wanting to make love with him, and instead points a critical finger at him for wanting what is natural. In response, Debi includes scripture reference from Ephesians 5:31-32-

"For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church"

Following, Debi includes a short list of goals for each wife:

• God's ultimate goal for you is to meet your man's needs.
• God's original intention was that a woman would spend her life helping her husband fulfill his dreams and ambitions.
• From the beginning, God meant for us to be a comfort, a blessing, a reward, a friend, an encouragement, and a right-hand woman.

From this point, Debi illustrates the kind of effect that a woman can have on her man when she does not want to make love with him, and shuns the most physical expression of "they two shall be one flesh".

When a woman is not interested in his most consuming passion, he feels that she is not interested in him. When a woman just "allows, cooperates, and tolerates," it leaves a man feeling sick at heart. If, to a man, sex was just copulation, he would make his deposit and be satisfied, but to him it is intimacy, a merging of spirits, a way of saying, "I love you...I need you...I like you." A man's most basic needs are warm sexual love, approval, and admiration.

Sex is so much bigger than getting hot and sweaty for a while. This is a very important way that men and women communicate love, and express one of God's great mysteries. If we keep the last chapter in mind, I am sure that we can see many ways to make life easier, through efficient planning, so that we women will react in a gracious way to the advances of our own husband. No only that, there is the topic that is mentioned next in this chapter, that of withholding sex to be sinful.

I am sure that there are many women who get real upset when they read 1 Corinthians 7:2-5, because it makes it clear that if there is a good reason for not making love, it is for fasting and praying. Nowhere in the text does it say that a woman should shun her husband because she wasn't careful with her time, and she somehow managed to be exhausted every single day for a month. Instead, the scripture does call husbands and wives to come together frequently, to keep one another from tempation. Of course, each person is in control over their flesh, or they should be. However, that does not diminish the fact that a wife has a hand in whether her husband is in this vulnerable situation that can leave him more open to tempation. Most men will only stand strong in the face of rejection from the one they love, and the temptation of another, who promises to make them feel loved and enjoyed again.

"Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render [give] unto the wife due benevolence [sexual gratification you owe her]: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer: and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency." (1 Cor. 7:2-5) [emphasis Debi's]

The last thing that *I* have to make mention of in this chapter, is that it is true that in most cases hormones will react to stimuli. For the wife who says that she just isn't "in the mood", give it an honest go for 5-10 minutes and see if that doesn't just change things a bit. Of course, there will be women with extenuating circumstances who will need special attention, or maybe even a little medical intervention. That's ok. It's still not an excuse for the rest of the female population, who just needs to tune in to one of the most important ways to love and connect with their own husband.

:o )

 

Today has definitely been a day for little blessings, and one in particular.

For some reason, as I struggled out of bed this morning, it felt like I had been beat with a rubber hose. Ouchies. All I can think is that I just slept wrong, because I managed to mess up my back. This isn't terribly new to me though, as I have a finicky back anyway. My knee problems actually throw my pelvis out of alignment, and it messes up my lower back. Yes, yes- a real treat. *snickers*

So, this morning was slow, and I didn't do very much. Mainly, I sat myself down in my chair, and tried not to move a whole lot. As I perused the internet, I would slowly stretch from side to side, and around. I did get up and make DD something to eat, and then tried to do more stretches. Finally, I became so fed-up with sitting still that I just cultivated some resolve.

By lunch time, I was moving around in the kitchen a little, and I pulled out some instant apple & cinnamon oatmeal. Now, before anyone thinks that I'm being shady, my daughter is fanatically in love with the stuff. We almost never have it, but my sister bought us a box, as a sort of treat for DD. So, we had a fine time, sitting down together for lunch, eating our oatmeal that I didn't have to stand over the stove to cook. lol Afterwards, DD sat at the table and was drawing, and I picked up a pen myself.

For my birthday, my mom had sent me a cute locket, shaped like a bible with a cross cut-out. It opens on the side, and you write down little prayers and put it in the book. Me, I find that I have my best one-on-one time with God when I write things down. As I'm sure everyone knows by now, I am a very "word oriented" person. Writing things down keeps my thoughts focused, and it is good to have a reminder as to how the Lord works in my life. So anyway, I sat at the table and wrote on a little piece of paper, my prayer that God would grant me healing for my back..... or provide a way for me to serve my family through the pain. With a fold of the paper and a click of the clasp, I had my little prayer dangling around my neck, reminding me to talk to my heavenly Father.

I'll tell ya, He didn't waste any time. I have a very strong willed child. She just loves to do her own thing, and is very independent. At times, it has hurt my feelings that she doesn't want more to do with me. On other occassions, I've wanted to pull my hair out and holler, because of the attitudes and stubborness that the child exhibits. Hmmm... I wonder where she gets that from?? *rolls eyes at self* But, today she was beautiful. I had a little helper today who did almost all of the things that I couldn't. Instead of making excuses why she couldn't put things away, she ran off to do what I told her, and was happy to do it. What a blessing. She helped me pick up, put clothes down the chute for me, helped me make my bed, etc. Wonder of all wonders, she even cleaned her room! lol She started to stall there, but I walked over to her doorway and watched her sitting with a toy in her hand. I said," Oh! You are cleaning your room so well! What a great job! Don't forget those toys by your dresser, big girl." I had a big smile on my face, and my enthusiasm and praise was just what she needed to motivate her to finish cleaning her room. Awesome. She wasn't going to clean it, but I found a nice way to trick her into compliance. *giggles* woohoo!

Because of DD's help, we were able to have the house clean before DH came home. Not only did we get the work done that needed to be done, we had time to spend together, doing things that we wanted to do. DD and I sat on the floor today and played with her alphabet flashcards. She is doing so well, and this is helping her with her letter sounds also. The only letter that she has a real hard time with is "N". I think that it is because it gets stuck in the "lminnowp". *laughs* We're working on it though.

Speaking of blessings, there was a card for DD when I checked the mail today. My grandparents in Florida had sent her a late birthday card. They had been quite sick, and hadn't been able to bother with such small things. (I am SO glad that they are both doing better now) Inside the card, grandma and papa had sent DD $30 to "go shopping" for things that she wanted. Now, DD is such a simple little girl that she is wonderfully excited when I give her paper tubes to decorate and use as telescopes. *laughs* So, we were having a hard time thinking of what she might need or want. She has enough clothes right now, so what else is left? Well, as I picked through the sales adds, I found my newest Timberdoodle catalog. So, DD and I thumbed through it, and we talked about what she might want. She said that she wanted to learn how to read, and then she put her finger on some books that she said that she wanted. After reading through the descriptions of the materials, I figured that we would give it a try. So, we utilized DD's birthday money to buy her "Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons" and the Rod and Staff Preschool Curriculum. Doesn't my little girl make interesting choices? lol I was looking at a different workbook set, trying to decide what would be the wisest choice, and she decided that it should be the books by R&S. I hope that she will enjoy them.

Now, I know that many people believe that children should not be given workbooks and that sort of things at a young age. For many children, I definitely agree. DD is interesting though, and she loves workbooks. She loves her leap pad, and is very happy to have activity books. I am just amazed at how much coordination she is learning as she writes and draws. I give her sheets of blank paper, in addition to her normal coloring books, and she draws me the prettiest pictures. She is trying very hard to write words, but the only word that she solidly knows is her own name. lol So, she writes her name a great deal, and squiggles the rest. She'll learn though. I am going to teach her some more real simple words, so she can have more to write. She just enjoys it so much.

Tonight, DD is going to get a "long story", rather than her shorter bedtime stories that I normally read to her. When we went shopping the other day, we stopped off at the dollar store. I just love that place. She and I took a walk down the craft/book isle, and we found a Veggie Tales book. It was the Jonah tale, from Kahlil's (sp?) point of view (he was the worm/caterpillar guy. lol) I just love that our dollar store is always full of bible story books, both older children's books and pop-up books for the little ones. DD just loves going through the books, and finding stories of bible characters that she hasn't read about yet. It makes for interesting reading at night, I'll let you know. Some of the books that we have try to stick real close to the story, while paraphrasing for children. So, they aren't as "friendly" as some of the other story books that I've seen. I do like it more though, when DD gets a more rounded view of God. I don't mind spending a couple nights, trying to explain why God would flood the earth, killing the people and animals. I also don't mind taking extra time to explain the wonder of God taking on flesh, and dying on the cross for us. DD's a sponge though, and she loves to talk about the stories at other times during the day.

Well, I had better get on to that story. Since it is Monday, DH is going to want to watch "24" tonight. So, I guess I had better make hay...........   :o )

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