I would question my understanding of God, and the condition of my heart if having faith didn't hurt a bit, throughout the walk. Of course, that very idea is just outrageous to some, who believe that following God is all about feeling good and embracing warm, fuzzy feelings. However, for me, my walk with the Lord isn't confined to that which FEELS good all the time, but that which IS good all the time. Seeking God is a wonderful experience, one I hope to enjoy for all of my days. I will admit though, that as I am stretched by the Lord, there is some pain involved.

Having God's truth isn't always what I would call a 'pleasant' experience, at least my flesh doesn't think so. My spirit may rejoice and smile inwardly, but my flesh groans and protests. Each step closer to walking within God's will is a triumph of the spirit, but the body cramps and seizes, not wanting to adjust to something so very different from what it desires. Small trials begin to look like warm-up sessions, and the body slowly begins to give into the demands of the spirit, not putting up nearly so much of a fight. However, unexpected detours, confused traveling partners, and the occassional mountain are enough to have both body and soul stumbling along the craggy path, doing just what I am supposed to do. Yes, in grabbing hold of the outstretched hand in front of me, I am doing what is right. He picks me up from my knees, nourishes me, and He carries me through parts of the trek that I never could face on my own. It isn't always a cake walk though, and sometimes He sets me down before obstacles, and stands back to watch and simply encourages me. I know that He is there, and He knows that I can do what is right, so long as I keep my eyes trained on him, and not on what looks to overwhelm me. Each step is a struggle, and it hurts. My body revolts at moving in this direction, when other paths are so much easier, even pleasurable. Still, He looks on me with anticipation and love. As I begin to cry, I make a final push toward Him, and though I fall short, He wraps His arms around me and pulls me through the rest, and comforts me in His embrace. I have gone as far as I can on my own will, and no matter how I push to be successful, the story is always the same. To one extent or another, I fail. Still, each time, He looks on me with such love, that I feel like I have won something so grand. So long as I reach out for Him, He never leaves me to perish, even when caught in traps and underbrush that overcomes me. At times, He leaves me to struggle, knowing that it strengthens my muscles, and it burns my resolve to a red-hot flame. I think on the times when I have gone so far, and though it hurts in places that are so soft, He leaves me to it. I push myself to my ends, and His cries of encouragement strengthen me. This time, while grasping His hand, I manage to keep to my feet, as He leads me to gentler paths and a refreshing spring, to soothe my spirit.

It doesn't always feel "good" to do what is right. There are many times when I have read the love letter that my Lord has sent me, and my heart aches. I am convicted in the depths of my spirit, and it pains me. Working toward purging myself of sin is an ongoing battle, one I will never truly find completion in until I am called home. If things were different, and I didn't feel these pangs that lead me lean on God and seek to become more Christ-like, then I would know that something was terribly wrong. When there is no discomfort, when sin does not bother me, then my soul is in danger. When I think that I am "finished", I have only just begun to unravel the other manifestations of sin in my life. As I endeavor to be more like my heavenly Bridegroom, I see the filth in me. Each day that I work to wash it from me, I uncover deeper layers of disease that I did not know existed. This knowledge of sin is not a damnation, even though it causes me great pain. Instead, it leads me to do what is right and good, in calling out to the Lord, and trusting that He can (and has) cleansed me by His own blood.

The truth has great power to hurt, and I don't think that we should turn away from it, just because it doesn't initially feel pleasant. It is easy to point fingers at brothers and sisters, pouting and crying because they know that we aren't perfect. When someone speaks the truth in love, it may well hurt a bit. I know that I have been stung multiple times by my "family", no matter how gentle they have tried to be. Loving someone enough to be truthful is neccessary, and no one is served if a message is so sugar-coated that the truth is lost under the sickly-sweet layer. As with all things, take them before the Lord, weigh them against His word. See where the truth lies, and listen for the leading of God's Holy Spirit. Do not be quick to dismiss lessons, because they aren't as warm and fuzzy as you expect God to be. We are not living in a children's bible story book, which only shows a portion of God's character. Revel in the completed illustration, and know that a God who is so powerful, awe-inspiring, and deadly has chosen to love you enough to die for you. He who could rake mountains into the sea on a whim, or toss the earth into the sun, He has chosen to love such a weak and beautiful creature. Have a fear of God, and know that what you give up in this life, the pains that you embrace in order to crucify the flesh, for these- there is reward. Aside from blessings that we cannot even begin to fathom, there is a love for us that is beyond compare.

 

I don't have much time, but I wanted to share a couple pictures with you, for the fun of it.

I took this picture yesterday, as DD was playing "mommy" to her kitty. Apparently, he was sick and needed to rest. So, DD decided that he needed to be put to bed, at which time she nestled him into a blanket and put a pillow under his head. Funny enough, the cat just laid there and didn't even care. He is a very forgiving cat. lol










For my next picture, I have DD, while she is helping me to prepare dinner. She had already been completely tickled pink because I had brought out an apron for her to wear, and we had made homemade biscuits together. Then, as I prepared the rest of our meal, I let her put our veggies into pans.

As our dinner bubbled away on the stove, my industrious little girl was busy setting the table for us. I'd say that she was on a roll today, as she worked very hard with mommy, to make our house nice, neat, and pretty. DD managed to clean her room, feed the cats, wash the table, put away our clean silverwear, and scrub the bathroom floor with me, all before making her first "from scratch" biscuits. Isn't she great?! :o ) Now, all I have to do is figure out what I am doing wrong with my sewing machine, so I can make her a bib apron in her own size. As it is, she wears a half apron, wrapped up under her arms. *grins*

.......or at least it feels like it has been. *laughs*

My back is still sore, though not nearly as much as it was yesterday. Last night, I decided to throw caution to the wind and heed the niggling voice inside. So, I hopped up on my rowing machine last night and exercised for 20 minutes. Then, I set down the handgrip, crossed my hands behind my back, and worked my legs on the slide. Not only did it work my legs, but I also felt the workout in my stomach and my back (building core strength). Instead of waking up in a bundle of pain, I wasn't doing too bad.

I never did get around to reading DD her book yesterday, so when she woke up this morning, she climbed up into bed with me, book in tow. So, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, slipped on my glasses, and read her the story. It was a somewhat long book for one sitting. It was a nice feeling though, starting the day with my girl, doing something that we both enjoy so much.

There wasn't a whole lot to do around the house today, since I managed to get most things done yesterday. I cooked oats this morning, and tormented my sugar-addicted self with oatmeal minus the sugar, plus a few raisins, and a dash of cinnamon. I added a little milk just for the sake of it, and made myself eat it. You know, it wasn't bad. The raisins were just enough to keep me from making faces the whole time. It makes me remember the stint that I had with atkins, when I had a strawberry after induction, and felt like I just sucked a whole tablespoon of sugar. *laughs* I bet that the oatmeal would have been heavenly then. I'm just so hooked on this stupid white stuff. It seems to be in everything these days. Not only that, but DH is just no help in my endeavor to eat right. Oh well. He's not the one with the fat problem; I am. So, I'm going to just have to figure this one out on my own. Temptation doesn't stop existing just because I have to get my act together. I've joked with him before that it almost seems easier if he'd just lock me in the bedroom and only let me out for bathroom breaks. At least then, I could get through the detox time without going too crazy. lol Either that, or someone needs to pick me for the next round of "Survivor". I could stand to lose 1+ lbs. per day. I might even learn how to fish. lol

Anywho, I digress. After I finished writing my outline for the latest CTBHHM chapters (yes, I procrastinated), I sat down for a time and typed out everything, and looked around the internet a bit. I'm somewhat bored without my Mollers, but that is my own malfunction. lol Everyone seems to be a little busy and/or behind on whatever they are doing, so my information monster was hungry. Instead of listening to it growl and rumble, I turned off the computer and wandered into the kitchen. I checked my meal planning board (read: dry erase board) and noticed that I had scheduled a dinner of grilled cheese sandwiches. Ah, and easy night with nothing to defrost. I like having those from time to time. So, I headed outside.

Because I just love my husband to pieces, I decided that I was going to do something special for him. I waded through the mess that is his garage, dug out the mower, and I cut the grass. Oh, what an endeavor! lol For city-ish folks, we do have a decent sized yard. With all of the rain, our grass had grown at an incredible rate. So, I got my exercise by pushing the mower around and doing battle with the forest of grass blades and the voracious dandelions. Having beat them into submission, I stopped long enough to breathe, and the neighbor kids came over.

The afternoon was spent on cleaning up the yard from our last lighting of the fire pit. I did manage to move the picnic table out of the way so I could cut the grass, and it is a wonder that I can still walk. That thing is monstrously heavy for being half rotted and falling apart. But, I got the yard cleaned, and the kids ran around cheerfully until DD smacked one of the boys across the face. Then I had to listen to her scream bloody murder after she got in trouble, because she is such an actress these days. I'm so tempted to repeat the dreaded words that my parents used to use on me. "You had better quit that screaming and crying, or I'll give you something to cry about!" It never did have the desired effect though, not exactly. Instead, we nearly imploded by trying to suck in the crying hiccupy stage, while drowning in mucus and salty tears. *chuckles* But, at least sniffling is quieter than dramatic sobbing.

Still, even after the offense, the kids played on with fervor. It is refreshing to see that they don't hold grudges like their adult counterparts. So, on they played in the plastic playhouse, wrestled with the dog, and chucked sticks in my general direction (for the dog, don't you know). lol Oh, that is, until the boys went home, and while I was talking with their mom, DD came out of the play house with her little girl friend's undies. What?! Yup, that's what I said too. Apparently, the little girl had wet, and she took off the undies and gave them to DD because she didn't want to wear them. The girl's mom was a bit embarassed, and I couldn't help but crack up. After all, as I shared with her, at least it wasn't DD doing something like that THIS TIME. lol She's done some rather interesting things in times past.....

After bathing and dinner, playtime and a story about Eeyore, all is quiet. I've been playfully reprimanded for being abnormal, because I walk around the house, brushing my teeth. No, I'm not foaming. Sometimes I just like to scrub my teeth as I watch tv, read, type, etc. I know, I'm weird. But, since there is no changing that part of me, we had better all be resigned to the fact. In the meantime, I'm going to practice my weirdness on my husband, because he secretly likes it anyway. *chuckles*

Tomorrow's blogging topic: When the Truth Hurts

For more on "Created To Be His Help Meet", please visit my fellow bloggers at  Walking Circumspectly, Stand up and Walk, and RosesandTeax2.

Congratulations to Molly, from My Three Pennies, who is making friends with her newest blessing, a beautiful baby boy!

reflections on ....

Created To Be His Help Meet
by Debi Pearl

Preface to Part II

We have now reached the second part of the book, which Debi labels as "Titus 2". In this section, she outlines what she plans to address in this next section of the book, by outlining points in Titus 2:3-5 as "eight practical game rules".

"The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be [1] sober, [2] to love their husbands, [3] to love their children, [4] To be discreet, [5] chaste, [6] keepers at home, [7] good, [8] obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God not be blasphemed"

Debi goes on to stress how strong the word "blaspheme" is, and that while the text does not refer to the unpardonable sin (blaspheming the Holy Spirit), this is a very strong warning to women.

Chapter 15
1. To Be Sober
Titus 2:4: "That they may teach the young women to be sober..."

"To be sober: To do one's duty, be moderate, self-controlled, thoughtful, and to learn to make wise decisions and judgments."

This chapter deals a greatly with a matter that seems so very blunt- common sense. Debi begins by making the observation that upon marriage, women must recognize the value of her position, and how to do it well. Not only that, but there was much mention of the word "joyous" in these first small paragraphs. Again and again, Mrs. Pearl calls women to be joyful, and to see their duties in a joyful light.

"When a woman soberly considers the needs, time schedule, and resources of her home, then she will be a more efficient help meet."

Yes, in a word, this chapter is about PLANNING. I definitely enjoyed this chapter, most likely because I am a very "organizationally minded". I like to know just what needs to be done, and which of these duties I will try to tackle each day. I haven't progressed to planning out my clothing, but it is because I wear much of the same type of clothing most days. *laughs* Still, I have multiple dry erase boards for my different lists, computer spreadsheets, and a composition book for all of my organizational needs. *nods* This chapter is right up my alley.

In the first letter of this chapter, a wife shares her complaints about being tired because her children became sick, and their house was not kept clean. Her husband came home, wondering what happened to the house, and wanted to know when dinner would be ready. As Debi pointed out, the husband's insensitivity is wrong, but that a wife should not match wrong for wrong. Instead, she goes on to stress how important planning is, in making things work smoothly, especially when someone is ill.

One of Debi's suggestions is that women utilize crock pots. Oh, I couldn't agree more. I know that when I anticipate being particularly busy during a day, it is such a blessing to be able to put things in a crock pot, and not think about it all day. There is no boiling pot to watch, and it takes care of itself until meal time. This frees up so much time and attention to be spent elsewhere, whether it be doing massive amounts of yard work, or caring for sick children. I definitely second Debi's suggestion to use a crock pot. *nods* I bet there are lots of women out there, just like my sister, who has a crock pot sitting around and collecting dust because they don't know how to use it. Believe me, it is easy, easy, EASY! :o ) Don't be intimidated by the crock pot. It can be your best friend on particularly crazy days.

In the next section, Debi advises mothers to simplify their meal choices.

"Several options will only confuse the child's spirit. Choices also give room for argument or discontentment."

Boy, I definitely know what she is talking about in this section. I have a young child, and there are some days when she can drive me right up the wall if I give her too many options. After deciding what she wants for breakfast or lunch, she will change her mind right after I have made the meal, and she will fuss and whine for the other option. I learned real quick that I needed to make up my own mind, and that if I was going to offer a choice for mealtime, it was going to only be two choices. Now, I don't treat my husband in the same way. He isn't under my authority, not to mention the fact that he isn't nearly as picky as a 4 year old. *laughs* I am open to ideas, and I will be receptive on many days. However, for simplicity's sake, I normally serve the same thing for breakfast each day. I do change things up every week though, so no one (including myself) doesn't become terribly bored.

After dealing with meal planning and some simple crock pot ideas, Debi moves on to the premise that when a woman who honors and obeys her husband, it can have an affect on the whole family. While I agree with Debi, it isn't from the same point of view that she has expressed. In this section, she illustrates the good lessons that she was given by the elder women in her family. In contrast, the women in my family have been quite the opposite in expression, action, and advice. It has been very hard for me to learn how to enjoy serving any man, because of the poor image of men that was cultivated in my head since childhood. I have also been a very emotional child (and now, adult), which makes it a little more difficult to resist taking offense. It has been a real growing experience for me to absorb percieved hurts and offense, and let it go, without letting my emotions get the better of me. While it has been difficult, my life is so much easier now, and I am happier for it.

In the section "What is a Cold Dinner?", a friend of Mrs. Pearl shares a story from her early years as a wife. She tells of a time when she worked very hard to prepare a hot meal for her husband, who was very hot and tired after work. When he came home, he told her that it was the kind of day for a cold meal, something she had never heard of. I could see myself in this story, because there were many days when I work try so hard to cook a meal, only to find out that my husband wasn't very fond of what I made for any variety of reasons. While this woman had no idea what a "cold dinner" was, I was unsure of how to make a meal that my husband would enjoy. After all, I did not grow up in the same family as he did, and my mother cooked in a far different manner than his grandmother. I was lost. I'll admit that some times I did not adapt as well as Mrs. Lansing, who shared the story. While I never wanted to throw dinner at my husband, there were many times when I was choking back tears because I felt that my hard work was not appreciated. Even when my husband would valiantly pick at a dinner he didn't like, I wasn't happy to see that he was trying to make the best of it. Over time though, I have learned how to adjust to my husbands tastes and habits, and to some extent, he has come my way a bit too. I agree with Mrs. Lansing, in that it is a matter of wanting to learn to please one's husband, and to learn what he enjoys.

Next, Debi addresses the "success" of the women's "liberation" movement, and how it has worked it's way into just about every aspect of our lives. In contrast, she shares with us a text that was found in a 1950s home economics school book. I chuckled a bit when I read the suggestions contained within, because I have read the "How to Be a Good Wife Today" material on the internet. When I first read it, I was agast at the idea that a woman could make a man so important in her life. As you can tell, I am of a far different mind. As I read through the material, I see many things that I do already, out of consideration for my husband. It is a fun read, and the suggestions given really are good to keep in mind. *nods*

To close the chapter, Debi discusses women who become so obsessed with keeping their homes "just right" that they become short with anyone who puts anything out of place. She uses the example of a child spilling milk on the couch, or making a mess of the carpet. I can read this portion of the chapter and see the wisdom in keeping priorities straight, but I just can't identify with this type of woman. The only time when I am particularly protective over the cleanliness of my home or child is about the last 15 minutes of the afternoon, before my husband comes home from work. Of course, that is because whatever messes we've had fun making during the day, we make sure to have cleaned up, so daddy comes home to a comfortable home. None of us are particularly picky about the cleaning though, so long as things are 80% done. lol So, the sales adds can sit on the kitchen counter, but all the stuffed animals must be chased back into the toy box. *laughs*

Chapter 16
2. To Love Their Husbands
Titus 2:4: "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands..."

 

Ok, I will be short about this chapter, because I think that much of this stuff should be handled in a very private manner. In this chapter, Debi speaks upon the sexual relationship between a man and his wife. She makes a point to illustrate that in this manner, a wife can minister to her husband's needs.

In the first letter of the chapter, a gentleman writes that his wife believes him to be a pervert because he has sexual needs. His wife has any number of excuses for not wanting to make love with him, and instead points a critical finger at him for wanting what is natural. In response, Debi includes scripture reference from Ephesians 5:31-32-

"For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church"

Following, Debi includes a short list of goals for each wife:

• God's ultimate goal for you is to meet your man's needs.
• God's original intention was that a woman would spend her life helping her husband fulfill his dreams and ambitions.
• From the beginning, God meant for us to be a comfort, a blessing, a reward, a friend, an encouragement, and a right-hand woman.

From this point, Debi illustrates the kind of effect that a woman can have on her man when she does not want to make love with him, and shuns the most physical expression of "they two shall be one flesh".

When a woman is not interested in his most consuming passion, he feels that she is not interested in him. When a woman just "allows, cooperates, and tolerates," it leaves a man feeling sick at heart. If, to a man, sex was just copulation, he would make his deposit and be satisfied, but to him it is intimacy, a merging of spirits, a way of saying, "I love you...I need you...I like you." A man's most basic needs are warm sexual love, approval, and admiration.

Sex is so much bigger than getting hot and sweaty for a while. This is a very important way that men and women communicate love, and express one of God's great mysteries. If we keep the last chapter in mind, I am sure that we can see many ways to make life easier, through efficient planning, so that we women will react in a gracious way to the advances of our own husband. No only that, there is the topic that is mentioned next in this chapter, that of withholding sex to be sinful.

I am sure that there are many women who get real upset when they read 1 Corinthians 7:2-5, because it makes it clear that if there is a good reason for not making love, it is for fasting and praying. Nowhere in the text does it say that a woman should shun her husband because she wasn't careful with her time, and she somehow managed to be exhausted every single day for a month. Instead, the scripture does call husbands and wives to come together frequently, to keep one another from tempation. Of course, each person is in control over their flesh, or they should be. However, that does not diminish the fact that a wife has a hand in whether her husband is in this vulnerable situation that can leave him more open to tempation. Most men will only stand strong in the face of rejection from the one they love, and the temptation of another, who promises to make them feel loved and enjoyed again.

"Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render [give] unto the wife due benevolence [sexual gratification you owe her]: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer: and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency." (1 Cor. 7:2-5) [emphasis Debi's]

The last thing that *I* have to make mention of in this chapter, is that it is true that in most cases hormones will react to stimuli. For the wife who says that she just isn't "in the mood", give it an honest go for 5-10 minutes and see if that doesn't just change things a bit. Of course, there will be women with extenuating circumstances who will need special attention, or maybe even a little medical intervention. That's ok. It's still not an excuse for the rest of the female population, who just needs to tune in to one of the most important ways to love and connect with their own husband.

:o )