It seems interesting to me that we are even at a time within our society when women must weigh the pros and cons of whether to raise their own children or not. There used to be a time when only widows and the occasional divorcee had to surrender their home and fight for every minute that they spent with their children, while struggling to still keep food in their bellies.

I grew up with stories from my grandma (mom’s mom), drawing the vivid reality of struggling to support four children on her own. Throughout my childhood, I heard stories of the hard work and the struggle, not to mention the difficulties that her children had. Oh how my mama used to talk, telling tales about how she would chase the boys out of the house with the broom, threatening to knock them in the head if they didn’t get off the kitchen floor that she just scrubbed. She was only a young girl, trying to help her mama.

Life was hard for this little family, and I think on all I’ve been taught about the harsh reality of trying to find the time and energy to work and raise a family at the same time. This understanding wars with what society has tried so hard to teach me, that a woman’s place is out in the rat-race. Her children will be "fine" being raised by someone else, so long as she somehow finds the time to drive the "soccer-mom" van to games, practices, and recitals. Other than a chauffeur, mom also has the privilege of providing her family with a top-notch frozen dinner, or the best that fast food has to offer. After all, if it can’t be made in 10 minutes, mama just doesn’t have the energy left to cook it. The poor woman has allowed herself to be talked into the mind set that THIS is normal, expected, and healthy. There is only so much that she can give, and this is it.

In everyone’s mind, this is where my name was, on the ‘hectic mommy’ list. Before my first child had even arrived, people around me already had my life measured and ruled, believing that they knew the best way for our family to function. Or rather, they knew the best way for our family to survive. After all, it’s just not living if you don’t have cable tv, a brand new car, and a house that makes the neighbors drool. Of course, that wonderful house has to be in a city that others deem respectable enough, and don’t even think for a moment that thrift store clothing will somehow fit in THOSE closets.

Needless to say, I chose not to join the ranks of mothers who daily question themselves, and constantly question their priorities as they settle into bed each night. I just didn’t have the heart to do it, and I feel so sad for women who are too afraid to stand up and say "not me". It certainly hasn’t always been easy. We have done without many things, and my closets are close friends with second-hand clothing. I joke about how pleasant it is, knowing that the clothes won’t shrink after the first time we wash them. *chuckles* It’s ok though. We don’t have cable tv, but we have plenty of fun teasing each other as we play with the bunny ears, stand on one foot, and hold the pose until the next commercial.

Now, as time goes on, I have noticed that the whole "staying home" discussion comes around full-circle again, ushered in by the yellow school bus. When we first began talking about how our daughter’s schooling was going to take place, there was a great deal of anxiety. I felt a strong pull to stay home, but was always confronted with strange looks. After all, didn’t I have something "better" to do with my time than cook, clean, and take care of my family. After all, they should learn to be more independent, right? A man doesn’t really need a good meal after he works hard each day, and kids certainly get all that they really need at school. (?!?!)

For a time, I let all of this outside chatter make me feel bad, as though I was wasting my time. I wondered what I would do with myself all day, if my daughter went away to school. It was shortly after this, my husband and I decided that I would homeschool our child. In part, I was relieved because it gave me a PURPOSE, and I wouldn’t feel as though I was taking the easy way out by staying at home instead of going to work in the world.

This is where I had it all wrong. I do not choose to be at home and teach my child so that I have a purpose. I have a purpose, and therefore I choose to be at home, and to teach my child. I am a vital part of my family, just as every mother is. God did not create a government, social group, or public education system to love and nurture our children. He, in His infinite wisdom, created a woman who would carry a tender life within her womb, and would spend the rest of her life nurturing and caring for that child in one manner or another. He made her both soft and warm, yet capable enough to fight to the death to protect that which she struggled so much to birth. A woman’s place is not lessened because she is within the home. Instead, she holds a great power, that walks hand in hand with incredible responsibility.

Before any woman trembles in fear over the weight of her calling (And it is a calling. God made you as He wished, female and all.), all things are possible with the Lord. When the Shepherd directs the ewe to bring her lambs and "come", He leads the way, guiding and protecting those that He loves. I am not arrogant enough to suggest that we accomplish this (or even anything) by our own power, but by the power of the One who created us and strengthens us. Even when we feel small, overwhelmed, or trampled under the weight of this world, His might overcomes all.